Page 20 of Right in Front of You

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see him scrunch his brows in deep thought.

“Is it weird that I want to kiss you, Molly?”

My heart stopped. He didn’t think I was Daisy? Did he mean what he’d said? Today was the first time ever that Carter seemed somewhat normal around me. During the past few years, each time I saw him, our conversations had never meshed the right way. Not the way we used to be able to talk when we were younger, when innocence was still within our grasp. Was it the cold outside air that had frozen his unfiltered mouth? Because normally, he got carried away with his innuendos.

“You think you do because you’re drunk, and because I saved your frozen ass.”

“Hmm… those are some deep thoughts, but I know that I’m not drunk anymore. Well, maybe a little.” He made a gesture with his fingers, bringing the thumb to his index, showing a small gap. “Besides, I wouldn’t have frozen. Firemen are always hot.”

I chuckled, hearing his semi-drunken voice. The after-smell would probably linger on his breath until evening. If there was one thing that was good about a drunk Carter Clark, it was that he was funny when he was drunk, not aggressive like Father.

And, I wanted to kiss him as well — badly, in fact. I wanted to feel the warmth of his lips, the stroke of his tongue, and the tenderness with which he’d control my mouth. But I also wanted him to want my lips, not to be a replacement for Daisy’s, and I was afraid that wouldn’t happen for a long time. He was still in love with her, which was understandable. Despite the attraction I felt to this man, I was afraid that Daisy would hold his heart for a very long time; after all, she’d been his first love. I wasn’t about to take advantage of his lonely soul.

Still, my need for him in my life would never fade. He was the only one I’d ever trusted, the one who saved me, and I bet he didn’t even know it.

We sat in the tub, my chest to his back, for another hour. When I felt his body return to a stable temperature, I shifted, waking him from wherever he was at the time.

“Molly?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Why do you do this? Why do you care?”

“Because you’re my friend.”

“You don’t have to, you know. I’m a jerk.”

“Carter, I’ve known you for… well, forever, and you are far from being a jerk.”

“But the things I say sometimes… they’re wrong.”

“You get nervous.”

He sighed again. “You’ve never come in the tub before. Shit… I meant, with me… wait, that doesn’t make it any better.”

I leaned into his ear and whispered, “I’ve never come in a tub according to who?”

He stilled, and I bit my lip. Was that too much? Probably. I wasn’t sure what had come over me. Maybe it was our skin to skin contact, which was becoming more meaningful as Carter sobered. Or the desperate need to have someone love me, the way a woman is supposed to be loved? If I had him in my life, he could protect me. I knew he would. I’d vowed once to never get physical with a man. God, I wouldn’t even know how to get physical. At one moment in my life I’d even contemplated secluding myself in a convent to avoid any contact with the male population, and then wondered if I could live like that for the rest of my life. Was it right to let the days pass and not live?

Sarah, my little cousin was just diagnosed with leukemia. I bet she’d know how to live if she were given a chance. Watching her weaken each day tore my heart apart. She knew better than anyone that opportunities didn’t come twice. That’s why when I saw mine to leave Hope Bay, I took it. I wouldn’t let my past define me; otherwise, I’d be as miserable as my mom was in her marriage. With a little encouragement from my mother and Doctor Burke, I took charge of my life while at the same time, ensuring this new road I was on wouldn’t be paved by anyone else. That moment I’d made the decision over three years ago was one of the best of my life. Father didn’t even know which school I went to, which made the years of preparation that much sweeter.

“I think we should get out of the tub before we become prunes,” I said.

Carter shifted and suddenly turned to face me. The water splashed around us, spilling over the edge. Our gazes connected, and I knew that I shouldn’t be staring at him with so much intensity, but how could I not? His gorgeous light brown eyes shone like youthful stars. Their depth kept me on high alert. My nipples peaked from underneath my wet shirt at the way he devoured my body, his gaze concentrating at my chest, and I squirmed.

“You’re changing the subject, Molly. I know a come-on when I hear one, and I’m pretty sure that you just came onto me.”

“It wasn’t meant to be a come-on.”

“Then what did you mean?” He shifted closer, his hands resting beside mine on the curved part of the tub, way too close for comfort. My breaths became quicker and I was running out of air. “Because I could definitely use a good dose of distraction.” He licked his lips as if he’d just tasted a piece of me and wanted another bite.

“I… I don’t know. You… confuse me when you look at me like that. And I will never want to be that kind of a distraction for you. I’m not that kind of girl.”

He’s going to think that I’m a prude.

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