Page 18 of Right in Front of You

MOLLY, AGE 18

The road tohell must be littered with Carter Clark’s despair. A few more rounds of cries and he’d extinguish Satan’s deep, burning pit. How could the amount of pain the man had faced be justified?

The winter’s chill cut through to my bones as I walked toward the black shadow splayed out on top of a layer of white powder, praying that it wasn’t him. This was the third time this month that I’d seen him out on the field outside of the cemetery. The snow squeaked underneath my soles as I quickened my pace. Returning home, one hundred miles away from school, at the beginning of my second semester wasn’t exactly a trip I liked to make. But I’d make it for him every day if I had to. After all, I owed him. Not only that, I wanted to be there for him.

It would be different if I knew that we’d end up at his house. As a matter of fact, any other house in Hope Bay would suffice if it meant I didn’t have to go back to mine, where the history and memories made me queasy. My childhood wasn’t exactly all pink flowers, sweet candies, and joyful family weekends. Don’t get me wrong, Hope Bay was a beautiful place to live in — if you had the right person to live with.

Other than my mom and Doctor Burke, no one knew that I was planning to be a doctor. Everyone else thought I’d be a nurse, and I’d keep that secret for as long as I could. It was all to mislead Father. Staying away at university was the best gift I could have given myself.

Five months later, I realized that I had no choice but to return. Carter needed me, and even if he didn’t know the sacrifice I’d made to help him, it was worth it.

I crouched beside his limp body and touched his blue face. Its temperature was close to that of a corpse and a second of fear that he was actually dead passed through me. Relieved to see a fog of breath escape his purple lips, I got down on my knees beside him. I wasn’t too late. The smell of alcohol and vomit hit me next, and I fought not to throw up myself.

“Carter, wake up.” I shook him by the shoulder.

He groaned.

“Come on, Carter. You need to warm up.”

“Daisy…” He reached out with his arm, pointing toward the cemetery.

“I know, honey, but Daisy wouldn’t like to see you this way, would she? Let’s get you home.”

It was a good thing that most weekends my mother took Nathan to visit our grandmother on the other side of town, so the house was empty. She’d thrown Father out for good, three years ago, when she caught him peeking through a bathroom door while I showered. Desperate to scrub him off my body, I didn’t notice when he came in to masturbate. Thankfully my mother caught him. It was a couple days after he was released from jail for flipping the pub upside down and carrying an unregistered weapon.

Her scream had forced me to jump out of the shower and cover myself, but it was already too late. Father came all over the bathroom door. My mother held me in her arms that evening and asked me a lot of questions. Her instinct was spot on and I was sure she knew the truth, but the words could never come out of my mouth. How could I tell her the truth about the man she’d married? Still, she kicked him out. It was the greatest gift of love she could have given me.

A gust of wind blew snow off the ground and into my face. The first time I’d stumbled upon Carter this winter was also the first time I’d come to Hope Bay. I didn’t understand why I felt the need to return until I found him half dead, lying in the snow. He nearly died of hyperthermia that day, and it looked like he was about to repeat his mistake.

“She’s gone…”

“Yes, she is gone.” I dragged him up by the elbow. He rested most of his weight on my body, and it felt like solid rock. The initial body heat had melted some of the snow underneath him, which then froze into his thick coat. Carter was encased in a block of ice. Supporting him under his arm, I walked with him toward my house, just beyond the field. This was fortunate because no one from town would see us, but unfortunate, because I would once again need to step over the one threshold I’d promised to never cross again when I left for school.

When we passed the small hill and the house was finally in sight, Carter lost his balance and fell to his knees. His body hit the ground, face flat into the snow.

“Carter, we’re almost there.”

He didn’t move.

“I’ll make you some hot tea and chicken soup. I know you like that.”

He opened his eyes for a moment and pasted on a goofy smile. “I like your chicken.”

I laughed at his yet another innuendo, and then he passed out again.

Shit!

I rolled him over the snow all the way up to the front porch before slapping him hard. He shook awake; this time, his eyes were wide open, his teeth clattering, and his body trembling.

“I need to help you, but you have to help me too. You can’t die on me, Carter. Not on my watch.”

“Cold.” His breath was barely fogging the air. I was afraid that Carter’s core temperature had dropped too much.

“I know. We’ll get you all nice and warm inside. Come on, three steps, and you’ll feel better.”

He felt heavier today, as if the weight of the world had been added to his. I wished for this winter to pass more quickly. I was afraid that one day I’d find him dead out in that field. I grabbed the spare key from underneath one of the empty flower pots and turned it in the lock.

“She’s not coming back.”

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