Page 105 of Right in Front of You

“I’m not signing any divorce papers, sweetheart. I didn’t sign them ten years ago, five years ago, and I won’t sign them now. Both of you will be stuck with me for the rest of your lives.”

Not if I have anything to say about it.I hadn’t even realized that my mother had filed for divorce several times.

“Why can’t you just go live your own life and let us be happy?”

“Happy? Your mother doesn’t know what’s good for her, and I’m what’s good for her. Now all I need is a little convincing, and I’ll be back in that house in no time.”

“There’s no way she’d let you in. She’s happier now, and she can finally be with Doctor Burke.”

Now was probably not the best time to infuriate him, but the damage had already been done. The vein on his forehead swelled as his jaw clenched.

“And, she has two other people who love her,” I added.

“Oh yeah? Who?” He had a smirk on his face.

“Her son and her daughter.” I raised my head higher. We did love her. She’d suffered through both physical and emotional abuse by this man, and kicking him out of the house was the best decision she’d ever made.

He took a calculated step toward me and I took one back, inside a stall.

“See, the thing is that you ain’t my daughter.” His voice was lowered as he leaned his head to the side, waiting for my reaction. Well, he was definitely about to get one.

“Fuck you!”

I should have been happy he’d said it. I should have agreed with him, that he wasn’t my father, but it hurt so deep that I couldn’t. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. How could someone who was supposed to protect you, teach you how to drive your first car, and take you pumpkin picking, be so mean and heartless? He was right. He wasn’t my father, and truthfully, it had been a long time since I thought of him as such.

“I’m ready this time, baby. I’m ready to take it where I should have years ago.”

What did that mean? A spine-pinching fear crawled through me. It penetrated me to the bone, and suddenly I felt frozen over. The best scenario would be to be anywhere other than here. Anywhere he wouldn’t find me. Worst case, well, I wasn’t ready to die yet.

I got a better look at his hands to see if he was holding a beer, then at the pocket of his pants to see whether the neck of a flask was sticking out, because the shit that he was spewing had to mean that he was drunk. But I couldn’t find any alcohol. In fact, despite his demolished face, he seemed quite sober.

“What? You think I’m lying? You think I’d take that much pleasure in playing around with my own daughter? Watching her change into her pajamas” – He paced from one side of the bathroom, to the other – “Touch her to make sure she cleaned herself well. Jerk off while she was in the shower.”

Memories from my past rushed in all at once, and I wanted to throw up. All the strength I thought I had gained over the years of being independent was washed away with a few crude words. And he wasn’t anywhere near done.

“Fuck her first to make sure no one else did? You think I’d do that to my own daughter? What kind of a psycho do you think I am? Because see, you aren’t my daughter. You never have been and never will be.”

“You fucking raised me! We’ve lived in the same house since… well, forever. You know, you’ve said and done many nasty things in the past, but this is definitely a new low, even for you. I hate you and I wish you were dead!”

Pure fury raged inside me. I wished I had the strength to hit him over and over again, but I didn’t want to get that close to him.

Why was I sad about this? Why would I have expected anything else from him? Maybe because deep inside, I’d always been envious of the relationship others had with their fathers, like Carter. Somewhere in there, I had always hoped that maybe my father did love me in some stupid way. Was there even an ounce of him that had ever loved me? What about the years before he abused me? Even for one tiny split moment, had I ever been anything to him other than a toy?

“Yes, it’s true. I’ve been there since your birth. But think about it, baby.” He took a step closer to me, and I took another step back. He kept approaching until I backed against the bathroom wall, and stuck my foot onto a toilet. “Do you really think you got those smart doctor genes from me? Definitely not from your mother. She’s nothing more than a pathetic slut.”

“Stop it! Just stop being so mean and… an asshole.” Feeling him close in on me brought bile up from my stomach.

He took the final step and pinned me in my spot.

“Are you afraid of me now, Molly?”

He grasped my chin between his stinky cigarette stained fingers and squeezed until my bones hurt. His face inches away from mine looked even worse now. The stench of dirty teeth, alcohol, and blood all mixed in one rolled out of his mouth. In his other hand, a shiny blade jutted into my ribcage.

“You’re a sick man, that’s all. Actually, you’re not even a man. You’re a sociopath and a monster. You’re not my father.”

“That’s right. I am not your fucking father, Molly. I would never fuck my daughter the way I fucked you, baby. I counted your periods. I knew when you ovulated to avoid getting you pregnant. That would ruin all the fun we were having. I could feel how tight you were for me each time I came inside you, baby. Every single fucking time that I snuck into your room in the middle of the night. I know you’ve fucked the Clark boy. Actually, I know that he fucked you from behind, on your knees. You’re my pussy, not his. This is my ass, no one else’s.” He reached down and grabbed my ass, all the while holding onto the weapon. There was no point in trying to wiggle out of his grip. I had no doubt he’d jab that blade between my ribs without hesitation.

“I think I may need to give you a thorough examination to see just how much he stretched that pussy of yours.” His eyes shot wide open as if he’d just made a joke. He pointed his finger toward me, “See what I did there? Thorough examination? Well hell, with that vocabulary, maybe I could have been a doctor.”

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