Page 86 of Right in Front of You

“Don’t panic, Carter,” I said to myself between the breaths.

I cannot lose you. I can’t go on without you. If you die, so will I.

I gave her mouth-to-mouth three times before she coughed the water up. Molly grabbed at my shoulders, shimmied her legs as if they were being attacked by a snake, and clung to my arm.

“It’s okay, Molly. You’re okay now. Let’s get to the boat. I think it’s going to rain.”

The first few drops were already falling from the sky. The water no longer looked clear and could get someone’s imagination spinning quickly if they wondered what was swimming underneath the surface.

“What happened?” Her hands were clasped around my right arm as we treaded the water closer and closer to the boat.

“You got tangled in grasses. Badly.”

“You saved me?”

“I guess I did.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

She was still in shock. We swam up to the boat’s ladder. I held it steady, saying, “You can go first. I promise to keep my eyes closed.”

“Okay,” Molly didn’t argue. As I held onto the ladder, I could feel it vibrate underneath her weight. She was trembling, and all I wanted to do was hold her, but I’d kept my promise and didn’t peek until she called me up.

“I’m done. You can come up.”

The rain picked up, making the metal steps slippery. I didn’t wait until she turned around and escaped to the cabin. I jumped onto the deck and with two strides was standing buck naked in front of her; a blanket wrapped around her body was the only fabric between us.

“I thought I lost you. I really, really thought I lost you.” I took her face between my palms as drops of rain danced over her cheeks. With our foreheads pressed against each other, streams of water ran down the sides of our faces.

“You didn’t. I’m here.”

I looked overboard, where two pieces of fabric were floating at the surface. “Your bathing suit. I’ll be right back.” I turned halfway before I felt her grasp on my arm.

“Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me.”

Those simple words were enough for me to turn back around and realize that the bathing suit didn’t matter. What really mattered was who was standing right in front of me. Her and only her. And so I grabbed another blanket, partly wet from the rain, wrapped it around myself, and stood in front of her with my arms and the blanket around us both, holding her in my arms.

“I love it when it rains. It reminds me of when we were young and carefree.” She sighed.

“Remember when we came home from school soaking wet? I think it was in grade two, and we promised to behave.”

That stormy day we’d run outside into the pouring rain. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. Molly inflicted some kind of joy on me when she first introduced me to the beauty of puddles and rainy days. Jo, Daisy, Nick, and Andrew were laughing at us from underneath an awning. They were laughing so hard they had a hard time staying up. I was pretty sure that at some point Daisy was having so much fun she peed herself.

“Yeah, I remember. You wouldn’t stop jumping in the puddles. You got all that muddy water on my nice dress.” She laughed. “My mom thought it was cute. She was still so happy back then.”

“Before he started drinking?” I couldn’t even call him her father. No father worthy of the title would have hurt his daughter the way he’d hurt Molly. I slowly guided us beneath the cabin and we sat down on a bench. Raindrops drummed against the rooftop.

“Yeah, it was before then.”

“When did he start?”

“I don’t know. As far back as I can remember.” She shrugged. “It was confusing, you know, the inappropriate touches and talks. About a year before Nathan was born, it got more serious. He came home one day and my parents had a huge fight. I went up to my bedroom, locked the door, and snuck out the window. I sat at the end of our backyard by the forest for hours. If it weren’t for the mosquitos, I would have sat there all night long. I just didn’t want to be in the same house as him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago. But did you know that all my happy memories involve you?”

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