“I don’t want you sad.”
“I’m not.”
“Carter—”
“Seriously. I mean it.”
I walked up closer so that he could hear me better. “When I’m having a rough time, I look at what’s in front of me. I can’t change the past, but I sure as heck can change the future. Look at what’s right in front of you, Carter, not what’s behind you.”
He took in a deep breath before releasing a sultry, “I am.”
My knees felt weak and my heart was testing how many beats it could fit in a minute. I couldn’t concentrate on Tank, this farm, the fact that I was back in the town I’d vowed not to return to, because my mind was spinning. What if I could heal him? What if one day I could be brave enough to hold Carter’s hand as if he were my man? What if he could heal me?
“Looks like my granddaughter is having fun. Way to go, Tank!” Mr. Kagen called out over the fence, taking me out of my dream state. At the sound of his name, Tank picked up his pace again, only Carter hadn’t been expecting a jog. Before I could react, Carter was running beside the bull when he slipped on one of the cow pies, catching Mackenzie mid-air as she slid off Tank. I saw this happen in slow motion as Mackenzie’s arms flew around Carter’s neck and he adjusted his fall so that she wouldn’t get hurt. She snuggled into his arms, wiggling her nose at the sudden smell of cow manure, which was smeared over Carter’s jeans from the bottom all the way up to the top.
“Oh, Tank! What did you do?” he complained.
I couldn’t stop laughing as I made my way toward the pair. Mackenzie reached her hands up to me, making a face of pure disgust at the smell. I couldn’t blame her because breathing wasn’t even possible.
“We’ll be waiting by the stroller, Carter.”
I took my goddaughter toward Mr. Kagen, whose initial concern faded as soon as his granddaughter was safe in the stroller. Carter finally walked up to us, bringing along a stench that was difficult to stomach.
“I’m sorry. I think I might have scared Tank.”
“What is it with me and bodily fluids?” Carter grumbled under his nose. “I’m going to have to change before we visit Jo.”
“She’s still sleeping,” Mr. Kagen said. “And I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t let you anywhere near the house in those jeans. Sorry, Carter.”
“It’s all right. We’ll drop by in an hour?”
“Sounds good.”
Mr. Kagen began whistling a song as he pushed the stroller along the road.
“Do you mind heading back to my house?” Carter asked me. “It’s just around the bend.”
“No, of course not.”
When we reached Carter’s house, I took in the tufts of beautiful daisies dominating the blooms in the front garden, and my heart squished.
“Jo planted them,” Carter explained. “She’s been a good friend.”
“They’re beautiful.”
I followed him inside the cute house with a front porch. “Don’t mind the furniture. It came with the house, and since I’m not working full time yet, that’s a good thing.”
“Were you always planning to live in the seventies?” I teased.
“I’m all about disco, baby.”
I cringed, recalling how my father used to refer to me by the nickname.
“What did I say?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Are you going to change or let the smell spread?”
“One day, someone up there will finally have mercy on me.” He pointed to the ceiling, but I was pretty sure he meant heaven. “I’ll be back in a sec.”