Page 122 of Yours and Mine (Friends with Benefits)

“Nick—”

“You’re going to tell me you can’t live here, and I understand. But I can’t hear it now. Please don’t let me hear it, because the hope that I’ll one day have you back in my life is the only thing I can hang on to, no matter how impossible that sounds.”

Why did he think it was impossible?

“I need time. All this just feels like a dream. A happy dream, and since I haven’t had too many of those the past few years, it will take some getting used to.” I smiled.

So much had happened and so much had changed. And honestly, all I wanted to do was to be held by him. I wanted that connection I knew we still had, but I didn’t know how to break through that five-year wall built between us. He didn’t say anything else. We both must have been lost to our thoughts, or at least I was, because the next thing I knew, dinner was done.

“Why don’t you read some of those? And I’ll wash the dishes.” I pointed to the box of letters and pushed my chair away from the table.

“All right.”

He helped me clear the table before sitting down on his sofa. I turned on the faucet and poured soap onto the sponge, keeping my mind on the task so that I wouldn’t join him on the cushioned seat he sank into. There was a window by the sink, with a view of the back of our bakery and Nick’s old house. I wondered how many times Nick had seen me while he worked on the barn. I wanted to know about his life in the navy, what happened when he was deployed and whether he had any regrets.

As I pulled the sponge over the plates and glasses, a feeling of calmness swept over me. This was how it would feel if we lived together; sharing dinners, talking, joking and enjoying each other’s company, and then cleaning up afterwards. Mackenzie could play outside. She’d wanted a pet bunny for a while now. Here, we could have a special bunny house right by the barn. Being here felt easy — in fact, the more time I spent here, the more the barn felt like home.

I felt him behind me before he even touched me, and I froze. The water flowed from the faucet, and while I should have been washing the last plate, I couldn’t. He was too close. I closed my eyes and the hum of the running water brought back memories of when we had gotten lost on the camping trip, and kissed for the first time by the river.

His front pressed against my back as his hands slid over my forearms to my palms, twining his fingers over the slick soap. The touch sent a new stampede of emotions rushing through my body. I leaned my head to the side and felt his hot breath feathering over my neck and then his lips skimmed my skin as he murmured, “God, how much I’ve missed you.”

Nick slowly turned me around to face him. I was afraid to open my eyes and face reality. I still feared this wasn’t real.

“I missed you too. You don’t want to read the letters?” I asked.

“I do, but there’s something else I’d much rather do than read right now.” His wet hands grazed up my arms to my face. He took it between his hands, his thumb running over my bottom lip, his gaze concentrating on my mouth and mine trying to find his underneath that mustache and beard. When he kissed me, I giggled, pulling away.

“That’s not the reaction I was expecting,” he said against my lips.

“I’m sorry. It just tickles.”

“I’ll shave it right now if it means I can kiss you.”

I bit my lip, wanting to jump on the offer. “Why don’t you let me shave it?”

He lowered his hands and gave me a bemused smile before stepping back. When Nick went up the spiral staircase to get what I assumed was his shaving kit, I finished washing the last plate and dried my hands. By the time I’d pulled one of the chairs away from the table and brought it closer to the sink, Nick had returned.

“It hasn’t been used in a while.” He passed me the razor.

“I promise to be gentle. You sure you want to part with this?” I tugged at his beard playfully.

“Yeah, it looks like I may be getting a new start in life, so it only fits that I shave it.”

A new start… could we, please?

“Well, I don’t know about shaving. I have to cut it first.” I reached for the scissors. “Were you planning on becoming a bear?”

“I wasn’t planning. But I was hoping that maybe one day, I could become yours again.”

I gasped.

Mine?

I knew the words were difficult for Nick to say. It was always his rooftop, his bakery, his stone skipping records, his need to run missions for the navy, and his decisions. And here he was, that strong man who’d completed one of the most difficult trainings of a lifetime, who fought for our country and freedom, offering himself to me — a simple country girl.

I couldn’t reply to him. Instead, I took the scissors and slowly cut away at the growth on his face, careful not to touch his skin too much because, after all, I needed to concentrate. Once the hair was less than an inch long, I lathered him and gently pulled the razor over the bristles. He sat with his eyes closed, waiting for me to finish, trusting me with the sharp blade in my hand. I took my time, gently scraping the foam off. It was easier to be this close to him now, and as the hair came off, I slowly started seeing my Nick. I leaned over to the other side, felt his breath near my chest, and I stilled. If I inched any closer, his lips would touch my skin. I cleaned him with the kitchen towel, and when I pulled my hand away to set it aside, he opened his eyes and took hold of my wrist.

I stared into his eyes, captivated.

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