Page 121 of Yours and Mine (Friends with Benefits)

“What?”

“I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Like how?”

“You’ve always been beautiful, Jo. But now you’re this breathtaking woman, and I can’t keep my eyes off you. You’re different.”

“Don’t flirt.”

Despite what I said, I wanted him to, and he knew it.

“Just stating the obvious.” He reached for the chicken and plated some for me, along with the veggies and potatoes. Instead of eating, I reached for my wine glass again and emptied it.”

“If you don’t eat, that wine will get to your head much quicker.”

“I sort of want it to. It makes me think less.”

It makes me want to do things I’m not sure I’m ready for.It was giving me some much-needed courage.

Desperate to not give into my needs, I asked. “Where are the sheep rugs?”

“You said you didn’t think they would match.”

“When we came here the first time?”

He nodded. I didn’t think that he’d remember that. It was true. Everything he described that day was here, except for the rugs, and I loved it. This house was beautiful.

I finally took a forkful of veggies and looked around his beautiful home. “I can’t believe you did all this.”

“Not on my own.”

“It’s breath-taking.” Exactly the way he’d described, with the deer antler chandelier and a spiral wooden staircase leading to the second level, where his bedroom must have been. The thought of his bed and Nick sleeping there, naked perhaps, made my head spin. Or maybe it was the good old wine working itself through my system.

“You’re the one that’s breathtaking, Jo. You always have been.”

Emotions swarmed through me at his compliment. The heat from my cheeks snaked to the core of my body, and I jabbed my fork into the chicken, wanting to concentrate on something other than the desire emanating from his deep voice.

“This house will always feel empty without you. It will never be a home unless you’re here; it will just be a house.”

I shook my head, not wanting to say no to him, but also not wanting to lead him on. I couldn’t just leave Carter’s and move here. I couldn’t uproot Mackenzie. The time that had passed between us forged mountains of uncertainty. And since I didn’t know how to reply, I changed the topic once again.

“How did no one know you were working on this?

“I don’t need much to survive. And I made Mrs. Crafton promise when I did groceries. I cleaned up her yard in exchange and fixed the shingles on her old shed.”

“Well, that was sneaky.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do. The Navy compensated me for the wholetelling my family I diedmistake. They would have compensated you as well, if you were my wife.”

My attention was drawn to the ringless finger on my left hand. Yeah, he might have gotten compensated, but I felt like I’d lost most of my heart the past three and a half years that I thought he was gone. My heart and my soul. If it hadn’t been for Mackenzie, I wouldn’t have been able to survive.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t wear it. I thought—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Jo. I understand. You thought I was dead, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that pain. If the situation was reversed, if it were me mourning my love, I… I couldn’t have been as strong as you. If I could turn back time, I would.”

Time – we had it now, but I didn’t know how to use it best. I didn’t know how to take down those mountains, or at least, cross them.

An awkward silence filled the room. It wasn’t that I was uncomfortable, but more confused.

---