“Do you know what would happen if she ran into you?”
I was close enough to smell him, and my head thrummed when his scent infiltrated my lungs, sending memories of the past deep into my lungs with one inhale. It was an intoxicating blend of the man I used to know and someone new - someone adventurous and exciting. I got a tightening feeling in my chest and my stomach tingled in a funny way.
“Jo, I doubt she’d recognize me with this beard and hair.”
Concentrating with him so close to me, the heat of him enveloping my body, was difficult, but I shook it off.
“Any mother would recognize her child, no matter how many years have passed. Trust me.”
“I guess you should know. Ahm, congratulations.”
“For what?”
“Your daughter. She’s beautiful. Old Mr. Grafton’s house looks good too.”
He wasn’t saying what we were both thinking, except he was wrong. I could see the assumption of me living with Carter swirl in his mind, and I thought about correcting him, but I couldn’t. It would take a long time to explain everything that had happened, and I wanted to – just under different circumstances. This was the first time I truly felt guilty for not telling him the truth as soon as I found out that he was alive. But how could I have? I was in shock. And now, well, I just had to find the right time.
“Listen, Nick. After you talk to your mom, we should probably talk as well.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
“Pebble Beach. Meet me there tomorrow afternoon, but only after you speak with your mom.”
“I promise to be there, Jo.”
“Good, okay then. Bye.” I twirled on my foot and left the captivating aura of his aroma behind.
It was still with me when I returned home. Carter was sitting on the couch, watching the news. A long drought had sparked fires in the north. Many firefighters from larger cities were called out to assist, and Carter was getting antsy, waiting for his opportunity to help. Captain Clark said they had to remain in Hope Bay, because let’s face it, we only had one firehouse. Come to think of it, I didn’t remember the last time it had rained in Hope Bay.
“Hey, how did shopping go?” Carter asked.
“Shopping?”
Oh, my God! I totally forgot about shopping after I ran into Nick, and I knew that Carter could see it all over my face. I looked around the room for Mackenzie, careful not to bring up her father’s return in front of her before I figured out how to tell her the truth.
“I ran into him by the store,” I started. “And then I sort of forgot about the groceries.” I felt my cheeks heat with the foolishness of the situation. What was coming over me?
“You’ll figure it all out, Jo. You know, I’ve never seen love as strong as the one the two of you have.”
“Have?”
“I wouldn’t expect you not to love Nick, just like I know I would love Daisy if she came back.”
“Carter, I’m so sorry. I know it must feel unfair.”
“Don’t be sorry. Be grateful because Mackenzie will get to know her father.”
“What would you do if you were me? I’m so confused.”
He sighed and finally looked up from the floor to meet my gaze. “Jo, I know you still love him, and he obviously loves you. It will take time, but you gotta give him a chance. My only worry is that… well, what if he decides he wants another adventure? What if they call on him again? And he maysaythey won’t, but how do you know that? Imagine telling that little girl upstairs that the father she thought was dead her entire life and just met has to go away again, and you can’t tell her if or when he’ll come back. Can you picture Mackenzie opening that front door to receive the flag?”
My heart almost stopped. He was right. How could I have let my heart be fluttering with possibilities of a reunion when there was way more to consider? This wouldn’t be an easy decision, no matter how much I loved Nick.
“I just don’t want to see you hurt again,” he added.
I sat on the couch beside Carter, hugging him. “I couldn’t have gone through the past five years without you. You mean so much to Mackenzie and me. I know we’re just friends, but I do love you, Carter—”
“I love you too, Cupcake, but I also know that you love Nick. You never stopped loving him, and I would never expect you to. Whatever happens, know that I’ll still be here. After all, I am an uncle.” He grinned. “And you were there for me too. If it weren’t for you, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have pulled through after Daisy died. No one’s pressuring you to do anything. I’m a grown man. I will support any decision you make, but whatever that is, I promise that I will not let you out of my life.”