Page 112 of Yours and Mine (Friends with Benefits)

“What?”

“They made a mistake.”

“That’s one big mistake, Nick. What happened?” My voice was trembling and I was an inch away from breaking down right there. Nick went to the fridge and took out a bottled water. He set it down on the wooden counter, which was coated with something to make it smooth, and motioned toward it for me to have a drink. I needed a drink, but definitely not water.

“Do you have something stronger?”

His brow rose, but he didn’t question my request, and instead reached underneath the counter and poured what looked like bourbon into a glass and then reached for a can of ginger ale.

“Just the ice is fine.”

I got another glance at the gorgeous countertop. It was a tree plank, crafted from the middle of what I assumed had been a ginormous tree, with all the rings stretching its length, knots and imperfections adding to the natural look. I turned in a circle, once, then again halfway, mesmerized by the interior; or maybe I was afraid to look at Nick again because my body wanted to run to him to be held by those arms. Just one touch — that’s all I craved, to keep me going for the next part of my life. I took a swig of the alcohol and closed my eyes. It flowed through my veins, instantly warming me as well as making my head spin a little. I felt something behind me and jolted up.

“It’s just a chair, Jo. You should have a seat.”

I nodded, and given that my knees were still shaking, I lowered myself into the chair.

“There was another guy with the same last name in our troop. His first name was Nelson. The papers… they messed them up. They saw N. Tuscan and they got the wrong guy. I never knew you were told that I died. Not until I came back and figured out that things had changed.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. You were supposed to be gone for two years only. If you were alive, which you obviously were, why didn’t you come back when you were supposed to? I wrote letters. So many letters…” I shook my head.

“I had to finish the fight that Nelson began. He saved my life and lost his. There was no time to explain and the decision was quick. It meant another three years of deployment. I wrote you a letter before I was shipped off and gave it to one of my Fleet Commanders. I’d spend the next two years deployed on a submarine. I thought you’d know.”

“I never got any letters.”

“I figured that when I saw you kneeling by my headstone at the cemetery. I later found out that my Fleet Commander suffered a heart attack just after we were deployed, so I don’t think he ever got a chance to send it.”

I took another swift sip, feeling the burn in my throat flow into my stomach.

“How long have you been back, Nick?”

“Since January.”

“Six months?” I wanted to punch him in his arm – actually anywhere – but touching him would have been too painful. “You’ve been back for six months, and you didn’t bother telling us that you were alive? Jesus, what were you thinking?”

“I saw you and Carter on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to surprise you, and then I saw you dancing in his arms, and I really thought that death would have been better for me.”

“Nick! You… you… I don’t even know what to say.” I was so mad at him that I could feel the rage burning right out of my eyes. So much had happened. My life had been flipped upside down since our last goodbye, and I’d thought I was beginning to grasp my life without Nick, living with my best friend, Carter. Carter, who’d helped me through one of the darkest moments of my life, who was there for me when Mackenzie was born, and when I got the news about Nick’s death. Carter, who had always been there for me. But Nick wasn’t dead. He was back. He was actually back.

“Do our parents know you’re alive?”

“No.”

“Well, good luck with that. You may need that headstone after all.”

I was feeling the alcohol ease my anxiety. It was exactly what I needed.

“I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

“I’m just not sure what to say or do.”

“I love you, Joelle. I never stopped loving you.”

“Nick, I never stopped loving you either, but you’ve been dead to me for over three years now and out of my life for five. I never thought I’d see you again. I still can’t believe this isn’t some sort of a dream where I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”

His face twisted in pain.

“I know it doesn’t sound right, but that’s the reality I’ve been living. I had to keep going for my family. I… I didn’t know you were out there. My feelings are all jumbled up, and I need time to process this.”

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