Page 109 of Yours and Mine (Friends with Benefits)

“Has Mackenzie been to Nick’s room recently? Because she found his stone. The one I gave him for his birthday.”

“No, not recently. But she does like to stay there sometimes and just flip through her coloring books.”

“Grandpa, when am I going to be bigger than a munchkin?”

“You don’t like being a munchkin?”

“I want to be big like Mommy, so I can make big cakes.”

“Well, we make big cakes now. You help all the time.”

“But I want to reach the table on my own, not on a chair.”

“Well then, did you have a good big breakfast? I mean, a huge breakfast?” he asked with mischief.

“I did. I did.” Mackenzie was excited as if she were going to immediately grow like Alice in Wonderland from having eaten a magical cake. My daughter had always been on the petite side, like me, but I knew she’d hit a growth spurt sooner or later.

A gust of wind blew by, and I sighed with relief.

“Are you okay?” Marge asked, as she flipped the open sign on the front door of the bakery.

“I think this heat is getting to me.” I wiped my sweaty forehead as a rumble echoed from the back of the house. “What’s going on at the old barn?”

“I think it’s being painted.” She leaned over the porch and followed my eyes. “Someone’s been busy there for a while. We’ve been hearing a table saw and hammering for a few weeks now.”

“Who’s doing it?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart.”

Well, that was odd. The place had been abandoned ever since I was a little girl. It hadn’t occurred to me that anyone would touch it, because secretly, I’d had faith that one day that barn would become my house. I didn’t know how I’d manage it, but when I thought about a future, that’s where I pictured myself with Mackenzie. Now all of a sudden someone was painting my barn? And why did I just saymy? It might have been a dream at one point, but not anymore.

“Did someone buy it?”

“Looks that way to me.”

That made me sad. Having the barn there, just waiting through time, had always given me a sense of hope, albeit a false one. I held on to that weird dream of me and Nick living there one day, decorating the inside the way he’d described on the day he proposed to me, watching our kids run through the corn fields, maybe even splashing in a sprinkler on the front lawn. But now someone else would live there? How did no one in town know about this? Keeping the secret of a new neighbor in a small town definitely took some skill.

“Why is this making you upset, honey?”

“It’s where Nick proposed.” I sighed. “He said when he came back from the military, we’d buy it and fix it up. I don’t know why it’s making me so emotional. It’s stupid. The day has barely begun, and it’s already been weird.”

“Weird in what way?”

“Well, first the stone and now this.” I pointed to the barn, still perplexed. “It just feels like wherever I turn, I’m reminded of him. It still hurts.”

“Honey, there’s nothing wrong with remembering him. In fact, it’s wonderful. He lived here his entire life, and you’ve known him since… well, forever. I’m not surprised you’re reminded of him so much.”

“I know… and I’m usually fine with all the memories and little reminders. But today’s different. I don’t know why.”

“Come inside. Have you had breakfast yet?”

“Carter made Mickey Mouse pancakes this morning.”

I, of course, hadn’t gotten a chance to sit down and eat, because I’d been running unusually late, and my appetite wasn’t ready to wake up. But I didn’t want to worry Marge, so I didn’t tell her that I was functioning only on a cup of coffee.

“Good. Let’s get Mackenzie settled. Maybe you’ll feel better in the kitchen.”

Baking always picked up my mood. Yet today, the frosting didn’t want to stick, the batter came out too runny, and I burnt the first cake I put in the oven.

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