Page 49 of I Was Always Yours (RCA: Royal Crown Academy)

He plays with his mouthguard, working it from the left to the right side of his mouth as he chews on it angrily.

“Eight…”

The approaching end of the countdown is suffocating.Like there’s a noose around my throat and it’s getting tighter and tighter with every passing second until we finally reach ten at which point it’ll strangle me.

Phoenix’s stare is set so intently on me that it feels like he’s using a peeler to scrape my skin off my body.

“Nine…”

His tongue flicks the inside of his cheek as he works his jaw.

“Ten.”

I expel all the air out of my lungs when Phoenix takes a step towards me, but he’s stopped by a hand grabbing his and throwing it over his head.

“Your winner by KO… Phoenix!”

The bottomless depths of his eyes don’t leave me. They take in the way I tremble as I wait to see what he does.

The ref releases his hand and I hold my breath, but with a final glacial look, Phoenix turns on his heel and walks off. He says two words to his coach, ducks under the ropes and disappears into the crowd that cheers for him.

It's like taking a knife to a balloon and I deflate, my shoulders falling in relief. I refuse to call it regret, although it feels like it.

Chapter 16

Sixtine

Part of me had wanted to drive him so mad with anger that he’d steal me and take me away from prying eyes to deal with himself.

Instead, I watched him walk away.

I make my way over to an astonished Nera and Thayer, happy to see that at least their expressions match mine.

“I-I… I’m at a loss for words on this one,” Thayer says.

“The way that man looks at you, babe,” Nera says, shaking her head.

“Yeah, the hate glares are a little much.”

She sighs. “You know I’m not convinced that he hates you at all.”

She’s shared her theories with me in the past. Or at least she’s tried to, because talking about Phoenix was not my favorite subject growing up. Too painful.

She has multiple, but one of them is that he secretly likes me. She’s not talking about sexual attraction, which based on the way he’s been looking at me lately, I know he feels. She’s talking about larger feelings buried behind the hatred.

I deny my feelings for him because doing so makes his hate easier to bear and that’s why I know that this particular theory of hers is wrong. Because if any part of him liked me, he wouldn’t treat me this way.

Whatever affection he once felt for me is long gone, rotten away by the hate that burns inside him.

“I’m going to get changed, I’ll text when I’m ready to meet up, okay?” I tell them and they nod.

I make my way to the locker room and walk in, closing the door behind me.It abruptly muffles the noise of the crowd, leaving me in a quiet room alone with my thoughts.I go to the sink and rest my hands on the edge, letting my head fall forward slightly.

Well, all in all, I’d say it was a successful night. I got up there, had the confidence to do it, caused a scene, and got out unscathed. A pretty perfect way to celebrate my eighteenth birthday.

I wet my hands with cold water and shake them to remove the excess water. Bending over the sink, I bring my hands to my cheeks, careful to avoid my heavy eye makeup, and take a moment to enjoy the feeling of something cool on my warm cheeks.

Loud noise spills into the room and before I can fully process that means the door has opened, I hear it close again.

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