Page 178 of I Was Always Yours (RCA: Royal Crown Academy)

I’m at a loss for words as I keep exploring the many small tattoos scattered across his skin.

My birthday, the words ‘wild girl’, coordinates that I now know match up with the house where we first met.

The canvas of his love for me is endless, made up of innumerable individual little moments he’s had etched into him forever.

I stand thunderstruck in the face of such a display of love. Speechlessness twists my tongue and stretches the astonished silence. I’m not sure what words are appropriate for this type of discovery.

“How many?”

He doesn’t need to ask for clarification. “At last count, twenty seven.”

“What would you have done if you’d met someone else?” I rasp, my voice brittle with emotion.

He shakes his head. “There was never going to be anyone else for me but you. I’m sorry I got us off track for a few years there but I promise you, you’re it for me. You’re endgame.”

Goosebumps rise on his skin as I keep exploring the panes of his stomach with my fingers.

“Some of these are new.” I observe.

“I got this one last week,” he says, pointing at Orion’s Belt. “And this one.”

Instead of pointing at his abdomen, he raises his hand. My eyes track over and widen when they take in the thin black band he now has tattooed around his ring finger. The string ring is still there, wrapped almost protectively around the new line beneath.

“Rings can get lost or break. I wanted something permanent that shows people I belong to you, because I always have.”

A fresh wave of tears stings at my eyes and he reaches out to cup my cheek.

“Do you believe me now when I tell you that I love you?”

I nod and his expression turns downright euphoric. He uses his hold on my cheek to pull me closer, tipping my face up towards him.

“Good,” he whispers hoarsely, his mouth inches from mine. His lips find mine in a passionate and longing kiss.

My nails dig into the skin of his abdomen, relishing in the feeling of touching his chest for the first time. Arousal flames into my veins as I imagine the muscles of his stomach rippling as he bends over me, his dark eyes glued to mine.

“I want to grow old with you.” He tells me, pulling back and looking down at me with heavy lidded eyes. “I want to make it up to you for the years that I messed up. I want to experience first snows and last days of the year with you. I want to carry you upstairs when you’ve fallen asleep on the couch. I want to make love to you in our bed. But most importantly, I want to wake up every morning next to you. That’s why I bought this house.”

He takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. Bringing it up to his lips, he places a soft kiss on the back of my hand. “I used every cent of the money I took to buy it. I’m not going anywhere and certainly not without you.” We walk out of the library hand in hand and he shows me the kitchen, the bedrooms, the boudoir, the office. “We met in Hampshire and we found each other again here, this place is our home. Except we needed a real home, because mine certainly isn’t one and I’m not taking you back to your father’s place anymore. It felt like a sign when I saw this house was available, because we’ll be close to Astor. You can go see him whenever you want.”

My heart balloons in my chest at his thoughtfulness. I can see how much he wants me to believe him, it’s clear as day in the desperate edge of his eyes.

“This is the home I see for our future. For Christmases and long weekends. For a few days with our friends away from the city. For when we have kids.” Back in the living room, he turns to face me. “But if you hate it, then we’ll sell it and find a new one wherever you want. The home doesn’t matter so long as it’s me and you.”

I shake my head, overwhelmed. The house is beautiful and everything I dreamed about.

And Phoenix… well, he loves me.

Any doubts I had about that are long gone, assuaged by the many ways he’s proven that he wants to be with me. I’m still shell shocked by the discovery of his tattoos and I can’t help but stare at them as he remains shirtless next to me.

“You’re shaking your head. Is that a no?” He asks, a hint of panic coloring the fringes of his tone.

“No, it’s me being overwhelmed by everything. You, your tattoos, the house.”

“I’m sorry baby,” he says, kissing my forehead. “I have one more thing I need to do.”

Before I can question what that is, he grabs hold of my hands and drops down on one knee in front of me.

“Phoenix…” I trail off, unable to say anything else.

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