Page 154 of I Was Always Yours (RCA: Royal Crown Academy)

“Not if you want this to continue between us.”

My heart sinks. The room tilts and a roaring explodes in my ears. I should have known it’d come to this, that he’d use Astor as his out when he was done.

I was wrong about the timing of my dream. Maybe it came to my subconscious tonight because it was announcing the end of us for good.

I turn away from him.

“That’s your decision to make, Phoenix.”

Please, please,pleasemake the right one, I want to yell at him.

A heavy, tension-laden silence follows my words. It stretches on for minutes as I feel his gaze bore into the back of my head, but I refuse to turn around.

Finally, I hear the bedroom door open and close quietly behind me, followed by the sound of the front door doing the same, and I let myself fall face first onto the bed, drained.

Chapter 44

Phoenix

It’s been two days since I left her apartment at three in the morning and exactly thirty eight hours since I last spoke to her.

It’s what I wanted, what I knew I needed to do when she said Astor’s name. What I should have done when I saw immediate regret flash in her eyes after she drunkenly told me she liked me.

Every time I think we’re moving forward, she somehow reminds me of the fact that she loved Astor, that she belongs to him, even in death.

It seemed like the right decision to walk out when she didn’t choose me, but now I’m wondering if it even fucking matters. Because two days away from her feels like an eternity spent roasting in Hell.

And now she’s standing in my kitchen, laughing with her friends and ignoring me. I’m supposed to be doing the same so obviously I’ve looked at her thirty plus times in the hour since she’s been here.

If this is her way of making me pay for the years I pretended like she didn’t exist, then it’s fucking working. Message received, lesson learned and I’ve had enough.

She lasted two years like this while I can’t take two more days of this misery, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she could so easily go back to the way things used to be.

I stand and go grab another beer from the cooler to distract my thoughts. People try to intercept me and bring me into their conversations, but I’m not interested. Bellamy organized a winter barbecue and invited our friends as well as both the men and women’s football teams so there are roughly fifty people here who I’m dutifully trying to avoid.

“So, you broke up with Six?” I turn to find Thayer glowering up at me.

“I didn’t break up with her.” I correct her.

“Really? Because she told me you dumped her.”

I walked out in anger but I’m more than second guessing that decision right now. I seem to be the only one.

“What if I did? Doesn’t seem to be bothering her all that much.” I say, tipping my chin in the direction of where Six is laughing with Bellamy.

She gives me a disappointed look. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that, because I know you know her better than that.”

I shake my head, irritation gnawing at my skin. “It doesn’t seem like she’s over him, so how am I supposed to compete with that?”

“Huh?” She exclaims, confusion drawing at her features. “What are you talking about?”

A crashing sound followed by panicked screams save me from answering. I turn, frowning, wondering what all the commotion is about.

The first indication I have that something is really wrong is when I see Bellamy looking around with a terrified look on her face, waving her arms frantically as she calls for help.

The second is when I see strands of the beautiful, bright red hair that haunts my nightmares spread on the floor. My heart rate hits zero at the same time as I realize that Six is sprawled on the ground, unresponsive.

I charge across the room but time slows and I feel like I’m fighting to move my legs through thick molasses as my horrified gaze takes in her prone body.

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