Page 105 of I Was Always Yours (RCA: Royal Crown Academy)

“What did she just say?” Thayer asks, turning towards Nera. “I think I misheard.”

“I don’t think she finished her sentence. You’re engaged in what?” Nera asks, giving me a wide-eyed look.

I laugh nervously. “I’m not engaged in anything; we’re engaged to each other.”

“We need another bottle of champagne, this is getting more convoluted by the second.” Bellamy says, heading towards the kitchen. “What do you mean you’re engaged? You just told us you guys are still enemies, granted enemies who sleep together now, but still. How does that happen?”

“It’s a business arrangement between our families.” I clarify, before adding, “An arranged marriage.”

Thayer jumps to her feet, irate. “What kind of archaic fuckery is this? There’s no way that in this day and age you can be forced to marry someone you don’t love.”

I knew this part of the news was going to go over like a lead balloon. The most likely to understand is Nera because she comes from our world.

The other two don’t understand that she and I are just pawns in a game of thrones far bigger than our individual lives. And that as women our main value is in bringing in lucrative alliances.

Nera grabs Thayer’s hand and pulls her back down so she’s sitting.

“Were you not listening?” She asks, before turning and speaking her next words directly to me. “She does love him.”

I can always count on my best friend to see right through me.

“Oh boy,” Bellamy says, taking one look at me and drinking straight from the bottle.

“Yup.” I chirp lamely.

“And you’re sure he doesn’t love you back?” Thayer asks. “Because the way he looks at you, Six… I’ve never looked at someone I hated like that.”

“Yes.”

“No.” Nera says at the same time. When I give her a surprised look, she doubles down. “You don’t actually know that.”

“What about all the times he’s told me that he hates me? Isn’t that confirmation enough for you?” I ask, dryly.

She points at Bellamy. “Not too long ago, Rogue was swearing up and down campus to anyone that would listen that he hated Bellamy. Now he’d rather carve his own heart out than hurt her.” Bellamy nods in agreement as Nera continues. “Just because you never told me the history there doesn’t mean I’ve been blind to the years long mating dance happening between you two. There’s a reason he attacked Max, there’s a reason he put out a school-wide hands-off policy on you, and there’s definitely a reason he’s now using this engagement as the way in to get what he’s always wanted.You.”

I shake my head sadly, not believing her theory. “He just doesn’t want me to be happy, Ner. That’s why he did all those things.”

“Then why is he sleeping with you?”

“I don’t know…maybe he just wants to scratch the itch.”

“He could scratch that itch with anyone he wants, God knows there’s a long enough line.” I flinch. “Sorry babe, I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m trying to prove to you that these aren’t the actions of someone who hates you. Does he know how you feel?”

I give her a horrified look. “Absolutely not.”

“Have you considered telling him?”

This time I shake my head vigorously. “Absolutely not. I’m telling you, he’s not interested.”

“What’s the long-term plan here, Six?” Bellamy asks. “You’re in love with him, you’re sleeping together, you’reengaged, but apparently he doesn’t feel the same. How are you protecting yourself from what looks to a third-party observer like an impending heartbreak?”

“We’re only sleeping together until the new year when the engagement is announced. Then we’re going our separate ways.”

“That’s only a couple of weeks away.” Thayer says.

“I know.”

I’m trying not to think about it. The thought of no longer spending time with him, of being ripped from him again and going back to ignoring each other… it’s almost too painful to fathom.

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