Page 21 of Nothing Ever Happens Here

“Yes, Evan is showing them how to use Instagram, I think.”Mack laughs at this then calls Gus over and kisses his face a few times.

“I’ll be back, buddy. You have fun, sweetheart. If it doesn’t work, I’ll pick him back up anytime,” she says to me and then hollers at the gang, who wave and thank her for the treats.

After a lazy attempt at some paperwork, I give up and go over to nose in on what the gang is cooking up over at the computer. I try to eavesdrop as I make a cup of tea in the kitchenette and then flop on the couch next to Millie. Gus is curled up in Bernie’s lap on the recliner and the rest are still hunched over the computer.

“What’s going on with them?” I ask as she knits a new pot holder.

“Mort has a podcast.”

“No he does not,” I say.

“Oh, Shelby, I’m glad you’re here, there’s something I’d like to…run past you,” Florence says, but she’s interrupted by Evan, who gasps as he points at the computer screen.

“Mort! You have over a hundred thousand subscribers,” he says, pushing his chair back from the keyboard and shaking his head in desbelief. Florence and Mort have kitchen chairs pulled up next to him and they look at one another.

“Is that a lot?” he asks.

“Oh my God. Are you…? Yes! You could be making a lot of money. Do you even—” he stutters, stops, and looks utterly bewildered. But Mort just shrugs.

“Right now we’re discussing the works of Edgar Allan Poe. I guess people like Poe. He married his thirteen-year-old cousin. Most people don’t know that. And he died of ‘brain congestion’ but that was just a nice way of saying alcoholism.”

“Nobody even knows who you’re talking about,” Herb says, busy tossing plastic darts at the dartboard on the wall and drinking a Pabst, but still can’t contain himself.

“Poe? Are you serious?” Mort takes off his glasses, giving his attention to Herb.

“The mascot for the Ravens?” Herb asks.

“The mascot is literally a raven taken from a Poe story,” Mort says, flustered.

“This guy’s a nut,” Herb says, looking around for passive agreement.

“Okay,” Evan laughs. “Listen. Mort. You could be selling ads. You could be getting sponsors. This is amazing,” he says.

“I just like talking about literature,” Mort says flatly and Evan blinks at him, clicking away at the keyboard some more and poking around in Mort’s apparently fascinating YouTube account.

“Whoa. Okay. So what happened in the last day that gave you half a million views? Holy crap,” Evan says, and Mort takes over the keyboard and clicks about for a moment. He plays a recent video podcast he recorded. It’s him in the frame with a tweed suit on, and he’s standing in front of the corkboard in the craft room holding a pointer and giving a lecture. We all watch for a moment to see what amazing content there could be to explain all this, but all we hear is Mort’s monotone voice on camera.

“Edgar continued his studies in Richmond. He entered the University of Virginia in 1826 at the age of seventeen. During the year he attended the university, Edgar excelled in his studies of Latin and French…” Evan clicks Pause.

“Kill me,” Herb says, tossing another dart.

“I think I know what happened. Shelby, dear, this is what we’d like to discuss with you.”

“Mort’s podcast recounting the young life of Edgar Allan Poe…? Is that what you want to talk to me about?” I ask.

“No. Mort let us guest host his podcast yesterday, and I imagine that’s what the fuss is about,” Florence says.

“You didn’t tell me it went up online. I didn’t even get to see it yet,” Herb says,coming over and sitting on the arm of the couch, peering between Evan’s and Mort’s heads to see the screen.

“Oh Lord. What did you do?” I ask, partly in jest, but getting increasingly concerned for some reason.

“Will you keep an open mind?” Florence asks.

“Tell me what’s going on,” I demand, and Mort presses Play. The video shows the whole gang sitting around the fireplace in this very room. Herb in his armchair, pulling apart Oreos, Mort with his tweed and pointer standing near the hearth, and the rest on the couch sharing a bottle of wine and picking at Christmas chocolates.

The video starts out with Mort announcing that Florence will be guest hosting, and he will allow her to lead the discussion about the very ominous goings-on in Rivers Crossing. He thinks the tone of the story is in line with his Poe series, and so it’s an appropriate adjunct to his series.

Then on-screen Florence nervously smiles at the camera and lays out the facts of Leo’s disappearance and the night of my assault, and then starts talking about Otis and Winny. There is a tightening in my chest that starts out as a fist of pain, morphing into full-blown anger very quickly.

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