Page 69 of Nothing Ever Happens Here

“I was gonna bring you the scotch my son got me for Christmas. It’s just a mini bottle—stocking stuffer—good stuff, though. You’d appreciate it more than me, but I totally forgot. Next time,” Herb says, and he’s sounding a bit shaky.

“Well, if it’s scotch you want, I have some great stuff,” Evan says. Good, get right to it, I think, but I also know this approach is a risk. If Evan tells him to try it first or waits, expecting Herb to sip it and react, this could blow up.

“Great,” Herb says in reply. Then I hear liquid being poured into glasses.

“Cheers!” Herb says, and I hear two glasses clink so I assume they take a drink—Herb will fake it, but will this fly? Will Evan notice? He only needs a sip or two to do the job, but the next step is for Herb to get his phone. Not only can we not have him call for help in time to save him, Herb can’t just toss it out into the snow or something. We need to secure it, keep it away from Evan, and then replace it neatly before we leave. Untouched.

“Xbox is this way,” Evan says, and I hear footsteps. Okay, he couldn’t tell Herb didn’t drink. This is good. I know there are wires and gaming gadgets in the living room because that is where he kept me the second time, after the shrine room, so that must be where they are headed to play. I feel a wave of nausea as I think about being trapped in that room with a broken wrist, in searing pain from a blow to the head. I squeeze my eyes closed for a moment and keep listening. Evan is still fishing to make sure Herb is as clueless as he seems.

“Mack called last night looking for Shelby. I hope she’s okay. Anyone get in contact with her?” he asks.

Pathetic, I think. He doesn’t know if she died out there. He’s just waiting for a news story to show her frozen to death or possibly another call from the cops with more, fresh accusations he has to answer to…and then subsequently get away with.

“Oh, I hadn’t heard that. She called this morning to say she’d be at her mom’s for a few days with the girls, so someone must have heard from her. She’s fine.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good. I didn’t get a chance to return Mack’s call.”

“Check this out,” Herb says, and I hear trilling video game sounds. He’s expertly changing the subject. “You only have one chance to get Pandora’s Box in this one,” Herb says, and I guess he’s talking about the game. “In the whole thing, just one chance. Brutal, right?”

“Love it. I like a challenge,” Evan says, and I wonder if they are sitting down to play yet. I feel a surge of adrenaline thinking about Herb’s safety and what will happen when Evan starts to feel the oleander take effect.

“You okay?” Herb asks.Holy crap, I think. It must be working.

“Yeah, just a little…” Evan trails off. “Fine.”

“Cheers,” Herb says again, I guess encouraging Evan to drink so he can be done with this horror show and get the hell out of there. Get the phone, Herb. Get the goddamn phone.

“They almost cut Yuffie and Vincent out of this one,” Herb says, and I know he was memorizing facts to discuss in case he got nervous so I guess this means he’s already using them and is pretty freaked out right now.

“Oh, no shit? That would have been a mistake,” Evan says, and he doesn’t sound right. “Excuse me just a moment,” and I hear footsteps and a door close. Evan must have rushed to the bathroom. Okay, shit. This is feeling real.

“The phone is on the coffee table. I’m coming out with it now,” Herb whispers,and I leap from the van and run up to the kitchen door where Evan’s phone is placed on the window ledge where the snow is scraped off. I snatch it and rush back to the van. Then there are a few silent minutes. I hear the sounds of video game music repeating, like the game is on pause, and then a door slams open.

“Fuck, Herb. I’m sick. I’m sorry man. We gotta…” Then he stops talking and I hear the sound of vomiting and heaving. It’s horrifying. I hold my heart.Get out of there, Herb.

“Oh Jesus.”

“Oh God, should we call for help? Are you okay?”

“Get help,” Evan wails.

“Holy shit, buddy. Okay, I’m calling now,” Herb says, and Evan sounds like he’s stumbling because I hear some shuffling and a bump into a wall and then more vomiting noises. Then I hear a scream and moaning so wretched I put my hands over my ears, tears streaming down my face.What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?

“What did you do?” I hear Evan scream to Herb, figuring it out, putting it together. I jump from the van and rush inside to see Herb standing in the hallway off the kitchen and Evan on the floor. It looks like he’s having some sort of seizure.

“Oh God. Oh my God,” Herb says, tears in his eyes. “We have to call for help. This was… I can’t do this!” Herb cries.

“Okay. Yes. No. I don’t know,” I say and then Evan’s writhing body is still. I run to Herb and hold on to his arm and we stand frozen a moment, and then Evan sits straight up and I see the blood vessels in his eyes are all broken and there is blood seeping from his mouth, and he looks like every monster you might see in your nightmares. And he is.

He screams a terrifying, guttural scream and reaches out to us.

“What did you do? Help me!” I hold my chest—I can barely breathe. “You fucking bitch!” And then he falls again, this time his head hits the floor with a hard crack and he is motionless.Lifeless.

Herb and I stand still, paralyzed in guilt, in fear, in relief. We don’t even look at one another. We can’t bear to. After a few minutes, Herb silently moves to Evan’s body and takes his pulse. Our eyes meet. He doesn’t say anything, just gets on with the rest of the plan quickly. We collect the scotch and the two glasses along with the video game and push it all into a grocery bag that I pull out of my purse.

Then we place Evan’s phone on the kitchen table. Herb gets his laptop from the bed, opens it to the document we created earlier and leaves it open on the table. And then we swiftly move out the side kitchen door, back to the van, and Herb pulls out as quickly as he can. In minutes we are on the main road and headed back to the Oleander’s like nothing at all happened. Nothing, except that our lives are forever changed and the horror of what we just witnessed will never leave us alone.

33

---