Page 89 of Anchor

He nodded.

“My grandmother says that my flames are now red because I havemoremagic,” I said. “Because the Rainbow gave me morepower than I’ve ever had before.”

His brows shot up. “Except I’ve confirmed that more power doesn’t mean more pain when using magic—in fact, the opposite is true. The more powerful the Iridian, the easier the flow of magic out of his body.”

“Fuck, Taland,” I whispered because I had no clue how to go about telling him…well,everything.

“I wish I could go get us popcorn, sweetness, but I am not about to leave your side right now. We’re just going to have to get in bed and talk without eating,” he said, pulling my head up and kissing me gently. “What do you say, huh? Because you were Mud and then you came out in front of the whole world and said you weren’t. There’s gotta be a story there, I’m sure.”

I smiled, though it wasn’t a happy memory. “The Council decided what I’d say.”

Every inch of his body froze for a second, and I could tell because I was sitting on his lap. “You met the Council.”

“I did. If I ever see them again, it will be too soon.” And I meant it with all my heart. Those were some of the most dangerous,badpeople I’d ever had the misfortune of meeting—and I lived with Madeline Rogan. “Let’s just lie down, okay? Let me tell you everything from the beginning.”

“Of course,” Taland whispered.

He didn’t let me move at all. He lay us down, put the covers over us, wrapped me in his arms and pulled me to him until I was half lying on his chest—my favorite place in the world to be.

With my eyes half closed and focused on the window, watching the rising sun giving more and more light to the world, I told him everything that had happened, before and after I woke up from the Iris Roe. I told him everything up until I went to the Vault with Cassie that first night.

And when I stopped, I only did so to take a deep breath and figure out how to better explain, but Taland continued to talk.

“So, they were going to kill you if you couldn’t perform magic,” he whispered, and I could see his mind working, wheels turning in his head as he stared at the ceiling and drew circles with his fingertip on my bare shoulders. His other hand was on my cheek, just resting there, just keeping me grounded. Panic-free.

“No, they knew I could do magic. They were more concerned aboutwhat kindof magic I could do,” I explained, as the memory of that Whitefire woman—Helen Paine—with the sword made of bones tried to freak me out but couldn’t. Not here. “They expected me to…I don’t know, do something that they considereddangerous,I guess. That’s why she was waiting right there with her sword drawn and ready. They were expecting it to be different.”

“Different, how?”

“No clue, justdifferent.When they saw my magic, they were all at ease. They didn’t kill me—obviously—but they do have a Mud council-member, and he wasfascinatedby me.” I looked up at Taland, never moving my hand from his chest because his heartbeat was my favorite sound in the world. “I keep wondering,whydidn’t he do it himself? Why didn’t he just take the Rainbow for himself, or even make one from scratch? He’s the Council—he absolutely could.” It had bothered me since that day Madeline took me to the Council. If one of the most powerful people in the world was Mud, why wouldn’t heundowhat was done to him? Why wouldn’t he want to take his magic back?

“Tell me something, sweetness. Have you ever heard the termLaetus?”

I thought about it for a second. The word was kind of familiar, but… “No, I don’t think I have.” Even though it felt like I had, didn’t it?

“They are what we callMudtoday. What you were. What…what I think I became in the Drainage,” Taland said.

My stomach fell. I rose on my elbow to look at his face. “You’re not Mud, Taland. Believe me, you wouldn’t have been able to do any kind of spell with or without pain if you were.”

I’d been Mud and I had tried to call for my magic, but it hadn’t responded. Not for a second.

“I know,” Taland said. “But something else happened there, I think.” He grabbed my face in his hands and held me in front of him. “What did you do when I was carrying you through the Drainage?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks at the reminder—no, no, no, don’t take me there, please…

It was one of the worst memories of my life.

“Nothing,” I muttered. “I…nothing.”I couldn’t do anything because I was paralyzed in those moments. If I could have moved, I’d have done the impossible to keep him from stepping on those bones.

“What were youthinkingthen?” Taland said, and he could tell I was uncomfortable with this subject, but he asked anyway, which meant he really needed to know. Thesorryin his eyes reflected clearly back to me, and the way he held me spoke volumes.

I was thinking that I kept costing the people I love everything. I was thinking that Madeline was right,I thought.

“I was thinking I wanted you to take all that energy, that magic. I was trying to open myself up so it could…I don’t know,clingto you instead,” I said.I was trying to give you my life.

Taland kissed me slowly, and by the time he was done, every inch of my flesh was raised in goose bumps.

“I think it worked, though I’m not sure. I think the power of the Rainbow slipped into me, too. Why else would we both suddenly hurt when using magic?” he finally said.

---