Page 109 of Anchor

Birds flew off trees. My heart took a good long pause when I called out his name at the top of my lungs. Every muscle in my body froze and I held onto my arms and I didn’t even breathe as I waited and waited and waited…

Taland didn’t come.

The charm was in my hands, the colors of the eye paler now than they’d seemed when he first showed it to me. Maybe because there’d been sparks floating all around us then—never-dying sparks that had definitely died now.

After all, it was almost dark outside, and I didn’t know the spell to keep them alive and I watched their light fade little by little as I sat at the edge of the bed and waited.

For so many hours now, I’d waited, ignoring that initial instinct that knew Taland wasn’t coming back.

He was gone, goddess knew where, and he hadn’t left me a note—I’d checked the entire house—and he hadn’t left me a clue. He hadn’t left me anything but this pain and this cold and this emptiness in my chest, together with his charm on the bedside table.

That’s it. That’s all I had now.

And even though I knew this was all I was going to get, I still sat there at the edge of the bed and looked out the window, eyes dry and on the darkening sky, until the night defeated the sun and took over completely.

I took in a deep breath and I held it there for as long as I could.

When I let go, I closed my eyes and a tear slid down my cheek, the only one I’d cried since I’d woken up.

Because to cry would have meant accepting that Taland wasgonegone. To cry would have meant that I no longer expected him to return.

Instead, I put the bracelet in my jacket pocket, and my ring on my finger, and Taland’s charm remained in my hand. That he’d left it behind could mean two things: he’d really gone out to town for groceries and couldn’t come back for whatever reason. Or…he’d left it for me.

Which, knowing Taland, was much more possible, unfortunately for me.

But it was okay, though. It was okay because wherever he’d gone off to, whatever had happened, I was going to find him. I was going to start searching for him, and I was going to find him even if he went all the way to the end of the world.

I did another search of the entire house, checked the corners and the spaces behind every door to make sure there were no signs of struggle anywhere, and no notes or clues as to where Taland could have gone. There wasn’t, and all the feelings that wanted to suffocate me, pull me down and drown me remained locked deep inside me for now.

I walked out of the house and I didn’t look back.

The narrow road outside the gates of the safe house was longer than I remembered. Taland had been carrying me then, so maybe that’s why. It was dark and a half moon was on the other side of the sky, and there were trees everywhere, but I didn’t care. I knew I was alone, I could feel it.Talandlessonce again, and I almost smiled at the thought and then almost burst out in tears right after.

Madeline’s Mercedes was right where we’d left it by the edge of the main road that led into the town, and nobody was in it. I got into the driver’s seat, holding my breath, praying I didn’t lose my shit—and I didn’t. The car really was empty, save for the keysin a cup holder, and a phone in the front seat. An old phone. Abrokenphone. Completelybroken.

I grabbed it between my fingers and turned the light of the car on to inspect it better. It was completely ruined, like someone had stomped on the small screen over and over, and hadburnedthe rubber keyboard as well, had broken the plastic to a degree that it was a wonder it was still holding itself together.

I could sit there and lie to myself all day long, but I knew Taland had done this to this phone. I knew Taland hadusedthis phone when he went to town for food last morning, and whatever news he’d received through it, it had made him smash this thing completely.

When he’d come back, I’d noticed. Goddess, I’d noticed the faltering smile and the look in his eyes. I’d noticed in the way he fucking held me, but I’d told myself that it was all just in my head, that I was projecting my own fears onto him. And he said nothing was wrong and I believed him when I knew I shouldn’t. I believed him and I didn’t let myself get paranoid, when I should have stuck to him, shouldn’t have even closed my eyes at all. When I should have stayed up all night to make sure he was still there—I should have-I should have-I should have…

My knuckled were white from how tightly I was gripping the steering wheel, teeth gritted as I tried to hold back. To not cry. I lowered my head to the leather, too, and I focused on breathing, onnotthinking, not regretting because what would the point be in that? Taland was gone and all he’d left behind was his protection charm and a broken phone, but that was okay. Because the asshole was going to explaineverythingto me as soon as I found him. He was going to explain to mewhyhe left me all alone in a safe househebrought me to, after he put me to sleep. He was going to explain why I had to wake up without him, when we said we were never going to be apart again.

“I am not done, damn it!”I said and hit the steering wheel with the heels of my hands over and over again. “Not done, I am not done!”

I caved, and a couple tears slipped, but I got myself together quickly. I was pissed and hurt—understandable. Confused, but who gave a fuck? I’d be perfectly clear on everything when I found him and punched him in the fucking face and knocked his damn teeth out for leaving me like this.

Just when we were together again. Just when I lefteverythingbehind for good.

He hadn’t even answered my questions! I had so many questions for him still, and I’d been foolish enough to think that we’d have time to go through everything because even though we’d talked and talked and talked in bed, there was still so much we didn’t know about each other. So much I didn’t know about him.

How did you escape prison, Taland?

Who put you in the Iris Roe?

How did you get out of the Roe, Taland—how did you escape the IDD?

What were you stealing in the Vault, Taland? Why didn’t you take the veler when it was right there?!

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