Page 96 of Tricky Girls

Both breathing hard, we regard each other, our breaths visible on the air.

Doesn’t matter. It’s the same damn last name, same coloured eyes, same shitty lived experience.

‘Come near the lodge again and I’ll put you out. Got it?’

He nods, face reddening. When I drop him, he takes no time in beating it, kicking up snow in his haste.

Fucking weak piece of shit. Maybe if he was tougher, life would have been easier. Instead it was me who had to get stronger. Strong enough to leave them, to set out on my own with only my demons for company. Don’t even know who I am without them anymore.

I haul the tent back up, the pain in my ankle so bad now it brings tears to my eyes. I grit them back, flitting my gaze over the first floor. Can’t see Tilda’s room from here but I know she’s in there somewhere, Tommy’s greasy fingerprints all over her.

Why do I give a shit about them fucking?

There’s just something about her having a good time that screws with my head. And her having it with Tommy’s just the cherry on top.

The longer she’s around, the more I have this need to know. To control.

Gone are the days where I could just ignore her existence.

Now the snow’s fallen, I’ll have to be in every night. There’s just no escape from any of it.

Maybe it’s a good job my ankle’s fucked. Don’t think I’d be returning from the Vaults alive tonight if it wasn’t.

Tilda

Twelve hours later and I’m in a world of pain. I sacked off today’s lessons, needing nothing more than to be horizontal with something as hot as the halls of hell pressed against my belly. Elly and Haz were adamant on staying with me, but someone had to show up from our group.

It was cute. I think Elly’s still feeling bad about the bet and Haz just didn’t want to be showed up by her. They plied me with hot water bottles and snacks, Haz glaring daggers the whole time as if she could reach inside and slay the dragon of my womb herself.

It’s not been a bad day all round, even if I am out of paracetamol. Being stuck in a forest lodge with snow whipping past the windows, Christmas films on the telly, and Elly’s blanket tucked around me makes for a cosy time indeed.

Nic showed her face a couple of times but she didn’t seem to notice me camped out on her sofa. That or she just couldn’t give a toss which seems much more likely.

I’m assuming it’s her in the kitchen now, a blast of cold air reaching me from the open front door. Haz and Elly would be making much more noise. Apart from her music, Nic’s silent as a ghost. With the amount of times she’s snuck up on me out of nowhere, I’m sure she must be doing it on purpose.

She takes note of me this time, running dispassionate eyes over where I’ve been lying for much of the day.

‘Last night,’ she says without preamble. ‘That’s not happening again.’

I nod weakly, too fucked to get into it with her right now. I do want to press her about Tommy, partly because I know it wouldpiss her off and partly because I’m simply nosy. What did Nic do that she had to disown her family? Because it had to be her, right? That would be about on point.

My lack of bite seems to faze her. Drifting closer to the sofa, she folds her arms. ‘What died?’

‘My womb.’

With a quiet huff, she walks back into the kitchen, offering no words of comfort. I bury my face further into Elly’s blanket, seeking comfort there instead.

Was I expecting anything less? That was pretty cordial for her, all things considered.

I hear the return of her footsteps but I don’t open my eyes until I hear something fling down on the coffee table.

A box of pills, the label reading Zapain.

For me?

With a finger, I hook them closer. ‘Where’d you get these?’

‘Same place I get all my stuff.’

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