Page 40 of Tricky Girls

‘I live here,’ I say weakly.

He scoffs. ‘Fucking wish you didn’t. Literalfreak.’ He turns back to Natasha’s room, hand braced on the handle. ‘Just stay the fuck away, will you.’

The door shuts. My hands are shaking. I furl them into fists to stop them.

‘I’m gonna cut off his dick,’ Haz says, no ounce of a joke in her voice.

I shake my head. I can’t even form words. His fury’s paralysed me, their image seared into my brain.

‘Come on.’ Haz grabs my arm, pulling me none too gently into my own room. ‘Pack a bag.’

At my blank look, she says, ‘You’re coming to ours. No arguments.’

I look to Elly who just nods. When I fail to move, she comes over to where I’m standing. ‘Where’s your stuff?’

Dazedly, I find my backpack and shove some clothes inside.

I’m an intruder in my own bedroom. That awful feeling’s back in my stomach, like the rules of the game I knew so well have shifted, the players I thought I could rely on no longer in the same roles.

For the first time since arriving on Hazelhurst, I feel like I don’t belong.

Then another thought strikes me and I pause in my packing. ‘I can’t stay at yours. Nic...’

‘Fuck Nic,’ Haz spits.

‘It’s cool,’ Elly adds. ‘She’s never in anyway. And, you know, desperate times and all that.’

Too upset to argue, I let Haz take my bag in one arm, the other coming over my shoulders. ‘Come on, let’s get you way from thoseworthless pieces of shit!’

She shouts it in a way they’ll definitely hear, cementing the fact that I probably won’t be back any time soon.

It was getting unbearable anyway, my stomach churning each time I thought about those two together, which was pretty much every second I was in the flat. Only my tutorials and seminars have been offering any respite. Those and these two girls. Thank fuck for them, wherever they came from.

‘Thanks,’ I whisper, briefly resting my head on Haz’s shoulder.

She plants a kiss on the top of my head. ‘Don’t mention it. It’s all part of my grand plan to fuck you.’

‘Asshole,’ I laugh.

But Elly’s not laughing, making me wonder if there’s a tad bit of jealousy there. After all, she proclaimed her attraction to me first.

I shake it off. Last thing I need is lesbian drama. These two are the only ones I have now.

Tuesday is fajita night and apparently an unexpected new housemate isn’t going to put a stop to that. Since Nic’s thankfully not around to break my other wrist, it’s the least I can do to help them cook everything up.

The kitchen window’s steamy, concealing the cul-de-sac beyond and Haz and Elly are trying their upmost to bolster my spirits, mostly with dirty jokes, flirty banter and loud, upbeat indie music.

I don’t mind. Despite a major thorn in the shape of one lanky, angry girl, I like the cosy casualness of their house and how light their presence makes me feel. I’ve not known them that long, but we’ve gotten close quickly. Surprising given my reserved nature.

I think that’s one of the reasons why the Ryan and Natasha thing hurts so much. I’d let them in, properly in, and they’d just abused it.

And apparently I’m to blame?

I know logically that’s bollocks. Ryan is just a prick. But his words pick at old wounds, ones that are never given the chance to heal.

I don’t even know what I’m sad about anymore, our breakup or all the ways it’s triggering me.

We’re lounging on the sofa, bellies full and idly watching a game show when I hear the front door.