Page 144 of Tricky Girls

Elly chuckles. ‘You always say that.’

‘And it never does. Not with you.’

‘But with men, right?’ She looks up at me as she swirls her tongue. ‘That always takes years?’

‘Oh, hundreds.’ I smile up at the ceiling. ‘Sure.’

She clucks, kissing my thigh. ‘You poor straight girl. How repressed you must be.’

‘Gagging,’ I agree. ‘So get on.’

There’re no more words as Elly works her magic, stroking that tongue over and over my clit until I’m completely wound. I come hard, letting her hear me knowing we’re the only two in the house.

She groans against my skin, her tongue only speeding up. ‘Can you come again?’

‘Yeah, just, keep going. Go really fast.’

I lift my hips into her mouth, pressing my head back into the pillow. She carries on with her tongue, not losing her rhythm for even a moment. The consistency makes me come again in short time, my pussy clenching harder than the first.

‘You sound so good,’ Elly breathes, coming to my side. There’s red high on her cheeks, her eyes a little wild. ‘I nearly fucking came.’

I lay a forearm over my face, eyes closed. ‘You are so, so good at that.’

‘It’s something I pride myself on.’

‘Oh yeah?’ I roll my head to face her. ‘Five stars all round?’

She nods. ‘Minimum. I’m a people-pleaser.’

‘You’re certainly a Tilda pleaser.’

Cool air from her open window swirls around me. I curl into her body, an arm around her waist. She’s still in her underwear but the way she keeps shifting her legs tells me she’s in a certain kind of pain.

I stroke her with my fingers, careful to keep it tender rather than arousing. Not like that will make any difference to her with the state she’s in, but I don’t want to be a tease. I need to know that when I touch her—because I will, and soon—it’s because I’m truly ready, not because I feel like I need to to assuage my guilt.

I kiss her arm, feeling a wave of gratitude for her wash over me. I don’t think it would be like this with Haz. She would push, goad. Not because she’s an asshole but because she knows I want it. I know Elly does too but she’s far too much of a gentlewoman to pressure me.

I sigh, tightening my arm around her.

Crazy thing is, I think I want her to push.

It’s strange feeling in charge of my own pleasure. Feeling like a first-rate citizen in the bedroom instead of always second. The bottom. The submissive one. The one who plays at going along with it even if I want it as much as the boy does. It’s a role I’m used to, one I’m stuck in. Elly might be masculine but she’s no man. It’s all equal with her, all of it, and that’s so fuckingweirdto me.

It’s all this nuanced stuff that’s got my head in a twist. And that’s even without the fact it seems I’m suddenly attracted to girls.Girls.More than one of them. I could probably deal with one. It’s just the person, right? But two is heavy. Two means I’m not who I thought I was.

Elly threw out a bunch of labels the other day, but none of them felt right. Demi, pan, bi. They’re not me. Straight feels right but how can that be? It’s like calling yourself a vegan when you still chow down on meat.

Elly tightens her arms. ‘Babe?’

‘Mm?’

‘You’re sighing an awful lot there.’

‘Sorry.’ I kiss her arm again. ‘Brain’s being loud.’

‘In a good way?’

‘In a kind of neutral way. Just…trying to figure out who I am.’ I snort, burying my face into her. ‘You know. Casual.’

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