Page 125 of Tricky Girls

‘How come you don’t have any tattoos?’ Her eyes are on my arms, shiny from the water. ‘You’d suit them.’

‘Who says I don’t? Might have a bunch of hidden ones you don’t know about. Try find them if you want.’ I shrug because it’s true I don’t have any. ‘Too much of a purist. Can’t be marring all this beautiful skin, can I? Plus, I get weird with things. What’s today’s hyperfixation might not be tomorrow’s.’

‘Current hyperfixation: Go.’

I look up from my scrubbing, falling into those green eyes. They’re like pine trees. Like moss on rocks. ‘That’s you, baby. You’re all up in my mind. It’s just you.’

I thought that was a good line, but Tilda doesn’t seem as pleased. ‘So tomorrow, then?’ she says. ‘Some other girl?’

I turn back to the vibrator in my hands, the silicone warm and baby soft.

Some other girl? Is she for real? Doesn’t she get that she’s ruined me for anyone else, that she’s the only thing on my mind whether she’s living in my house or a hundred miles away at someone else’s?

‘Some fixations are made to last.’

Tilda hums dubiously but lets it go.

She nods at the bath. ‘This is a regular occurrence for you?’

‘Yep. Every week. Or, you know, every month if it’s been a while.’

‘Why has it been a while? Is Harriet losing her touch?’

‘Harriet’sbeen a little preoccupied with her newest housemate.’ I wiggle the fingers of my right hand. ‘When I’m thinking of you, Tilda, there’s never time to find a toy.’

She narrows her eyes. ‘You’ve not wanked over me.’

‘Excuse me? You’re extremely wankable. Don’t talk down on yourself.’

She looks down at the swirling toys. ‘Go on then, who’s your favourite?’

‘This is my boy.’ I lift up a flesh-coloured dildo complete with veins and a bulbous head. Most girls I sleep with hate it, but it feels as much a part of me now as my right arm.

‘Didn’t want to go for anything bigger?’

‘I was going for real. I don’t have small dick syndrome, doesn’t matter to me.’

‘I like this one.’ She points at the purple one I’d been wearing the night we watchedNorthbound Wolves.The newest to my collection. Yet to be used with anyone.

‘I’ll remember that. Tilda’s Dick.’

She laughs, clearly liking that. ‘Yeah, don’t be using it on anyone else. I’ll be offended. Ah, now this one I have experience with.’ She picks up a teal bullet vibrator. ‘Nice cheapie this one, isn’t it?’

‘Oh, yeah?’ I eye it in her hand. ‘Have you used it here?’

‘Yup.’ She drops it back in the bath. ‘Many a night.’

‘And what do you think about when you do?’

She lowers her head to her arm, refusing to answer.

‘Hmm.’ I stroke hair back from where it’s fallen over her face. ‘Elly?’

‘For all you know, it could be Nic.’

‘Well, wouldn’t that be a development. I’m not adverse to a bit of hate fucking myself.’ I fish around in the bath, surfacing with a blue vibrator. ‘I think you’d like this one.’

I turn it on and Tilda laughs.

---