Page 123 of Tricky Girls

I spot something from the corner of my eye, a photo frame’s filigreed edges winking in the sunlight. ‘Haz, her mum tried to kill herself.’

‘Yeah, so she’ll need some cheering up. Bet she’s balls deep in that sweet clunge as we speak.’

‘Jesus, will you shut up.’

I take the photo into my hands, staring back at me the one face I had been reluctant to leave, the one I had to purge from my mind so the guilt wouldn’t shred me.

‘Nic, if you’d had a taste of those lips it’d be all you could think about too. I’m a changed woman. I’ve seen God.’

I look up when silence falls. Haz stares out the window, a frown on her smooth face as she wildly swings a black skipping rope she found on Tommy’s floor. She’s been mopey these last few days. It’s truly killing her not knowing what those two are up to without her.

She shakes her head, coming back to herself. ‘I don’t know how you deal with it, man. How you stay away. You seriously don’t want some of that?’

I push the vision of Tilda in that velvet dress from my mind. ‘Seriously.’

‘I’ll get to the bottom of your issue with her one day.’ She comes over and punches my arm. ‘Fucking hate you keeping secrets from me.’

‘I’m entitled.’

‘Yeah, an entitled fucking bitch. I tell you all mine.’

‘Truly wish you wouldn’t sometimes.’

It’s a teenage Josephine I hold, almost unrecognisable to the nine-year-old I saw last. She’s smiling, teeth on show, hair fanning over her shoulders.Happy.But then how many pictures had there been in that house where I’d been smiling too?

‘She looks a bit like Tilda,’ Haz muses.

Of course she does. I slam the photo back down. The universe loves to torture me.

I hope that light in her eyes is true. I hope I hadn’t done a Tommy, getting out the way so someone else could get hurt.Josephine was always the sweetest thing about us. I hope he hadn’t got to her too. Don’t think I could bear it if he had.

When I look at Haz again, she’s squatting over Tommy’s laundry hamper, trousers to her thighs ready to piss into it.

‘Don’t. We’ve done enough.’

Haz squints at me. ‘What? No, we haven’t. Don’t get boring.’

‘It’s Christmas.’ I smile thinly. ‘Let’s be charitable.’

She grumbles but pulls up her trousers. ‘What are we doing for the rest of the day anyway?’

‘I’m meeting Skylar. She’s still around.’

‘You fucking what? You’re ditching your best friend forthat?’

I don’t reply; I’ve got no excuse.

Haz continues to glare as she rethreads her belt.

Then her face clears and a smirk forms instead. ‘Hey, can I join?’

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say no. Sharing is more their thing. I don’t like the divided attention. But I’m already feeling shitty enough over Elly. That I hadn’t known all that was going on. I don’t want to be a bad friend to this one too.

And it’s not like Skylar will protest. She’ll be fucking thrilled.

‘Fine. Just because it’s Christmas.’

‘Hell yes!’ Haz bounces on the balls of her feet. ‘I fucking love Christmas!’

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