Page 85 of Haunt Me

“What doyouthink, Eden?” I ask again quietly.

Maybe my pain will wake her up, bring her back to me. But it doesn’t. She can’t see it. For once, she doesn’t recognize my despair. She is drowning in her own.

“I… I agree,” she says tonelessly.

I don’t believe this. I feel like tearing out my hair. I don’t think I have ever been so angry and in so much pain until now. I think I am about to lose my mind.

“You’re choosing him!” I fling it to her like a curse. I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “Is it because of his millions?”

Hurt crosses her face like I slapped her and I wish I hadn’t said it.

“I’m sorry—sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” I rub my chest. Why does it feel like I’m being stabbed there, repeatedly? “It… it hurts,” I manage to get out.

“I know.” Eden’s voice is a ghost of her real one. “It hurts me too.” She’s gone again, looking vacant and cold.

“Then don’t do it!” I scream, but she doesn’t react at all. “Don’t do it, for God’s sake!”

At the mention of God, she shivers and I reach for her, unthinking. She takes a step back, nearly tripping over a root, but steadies herself. She looks terrified of me, as if my touch with scorch her or my stare will turn her to ashes.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispers. “Or I won’t be able to leave.”

“Thendon’t leave,” I yell, all the pain pouring out of me like a wave. Spit comes out. Tears. Snot. Pieces of my shattering heart. “Don’t leave me here. Please, Eden. Please, my moon and stars. Stay here with me, and we’ll get through this. Didn’t we say we could do anything together? Please don’t run away like that. Please don’t go where I can’t find you. I know your father is important to you, but he can’t make this decision for you. Don’t you see? You’ll be eighteen in a year, for God’s sake.”

“It’s my decision as well,” she repeats in that dead voice. “I agree with him.”

I step back.

I wish she had slapped me instead; it would have hurt less.

“You agree? I don’t accept that. You’re my girl. I know you. That’s not you in there. Eden, what’s happening? I’m losing my mind. Make this stop. Please. Please.”

I keep repeating it until all sound stops coming out of my lips. I keep forming the words, still trying to reach her, to penetrate this wall that has suddenly, inexplicably risen between us.

Nothing is working.

I don’t realize I am running after her as she weaves through the trees like an elf, disappearing from sight, until my knees finally give out. I fall hard to the ground with a sickening crash, shaking as if I have a fever.

…

Years later, I will read every article I can get my hands on. I will read about her, about what she went through.

I will read about the psychology of an abducted child, how they are made to feel guilty. How they have been manipulated into bending to the will of their abuser. How she was treated like a thing, brainwashed, tortured, borne down until the experts—damn them—concluded that she couldn’t have had any free will of her own.

But back there, that horrible day in the woods, all I felt was abandoned.

So angry I could destroy the whole school in one fell scoop.

Betrayed down to my bones.

But that wasn’t the most betrayed I would ever feel.

It could get worse. It would.

I would feel more betrayed.

The next day, to be exact.

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