Page 237 of Haunt Me

Olivia:It must have been devastating to you to see that.

Eden: I lost a couple of days. I don’t remember them. My sister says I was mostly crying and sleeping, but they are a blank to me.

Olivia: I should send my guards to murder him. Actually, wait, I can. I command an army now. Would that work for you?

Eden: I don’t know why he did it, Liv. He is not a cruel person.

Eden: We were already broken up. Why did he feel the need to publicize it all of a sudden?

Olivia: Maybe he didn’t.

Eden: What do you mean?

Olivia: I mean, that leak about you being his writer put your life in danger, literally.

Eden: I guess it did.

Eden: By the way, thank you again for offering me your security. I already had one by then.

Olivia: Did you need it?

Eden: Yes. Still do. I can’t step foot outside the door without security these days. People have been trying to get into my dorm and now my house nearly every day. I once nearly got mobbed on the street. I’ve had to delete all my social media. It’s so scary it’s surreal.

Olivia: There you are then.

Eden: Where am I?

Olivia: That’s why he did it, En. That’s why your Isaiah had to go on national TV and insist that there’s nothing linking you to him. That you mean nothing to him. So that his rabid fans would leave you alone.

Olivia: He was trying to save you.

Eden: He WHAT?

Olivia: He probably broke his own heart in the process.

Olivia: Have you watched any of his recent shows?

Eden: I haven’t been able to.

Olivia: Well, don’t. And whatever you do, don’t search ‘Issy Woo falls apart on stage in Munich’ either.

Eden:…

Olivia: Eden? Why aren’t you replying? You’re googling it, aren’t you? Oh, baby, don’t. At least make sure someone is with you when you watch it.

Olivia: Eden? Should I call one of your sisters?

Olivia: Eden?

forty-five

The fans start putting two and two together: my new albums and my interview, and they say they are ‘concerned for me’. But for once, they’re not cruel. I mean, most of them aren’t. There are those who fantasize and theorize endlessly about how I am definitely going to fall in love with them next. Even a few who think they’ve found ‘secret hidden messages’ in my old songs.

Well, let them.

I’m focused on trying to keep myself alive until the next concert.

My first night in Germany, I faint onstage, but I manage to do it out of sight. As soon as I wake up, I walk right up to the lights and keep on singing. The next night, I forget the lyrics to the entire first verse ofSaint Hopeand Jude has to start it for me until the cue in my ear starts feeding me the lines. That’s never happened before—I’ve never had to work with a teleprompter.

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