Page 171 of Haunt Me

And I will watch. And I will die.

I get up and pretend that I need to use the restroom that’s a three-minute walk from here. I splash water on my face and push my fingers so deeply into my eye sockets, the bones of my skull hurt.

When I get back, Spencer is talking animatedly with Eden about the scene he just filmed. He is asking her opinion about Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer, and then the conversation veers to other historical details about the Regency era. Then they start talking about books: the Brontes, the Dickens. He asks her what her favorite retellings are and then he proceeds to make a note of her answers on his phone.

Weston freaking Spencer. I bet he’ll make movie adaptations out of every single book she mentioned. Then he sends her his script and asks her ideas on it—still carefully taking notes whenever she speaks.

The servers are already removing the plates and preparing to serve us dessert. Well, not ‘already’. Apparently, we have been sitting here for over two hours. Outside the white tent, the sky is dripping with stars.

I don’t know where the time went. I have done nothing but watch Eden all evening. A few minutes later, she starts talking to Ari, and I start to shamelessly eavesdrop, but I lose my train of thought. The words they are saying start running together. I am looking at Eden’s lips as she licks the frosting off her dessert spoon.

They are pink… no, peach. The night covers them in velvet, but I remember how they taste, like soft, sweet, ripe fruit. The kind that you only have to barely touch with your teeth and it starts dripping with juices and the—

“Isaiah, are you with us?” Spencer’s voice drags me to the present.

“Yeah,” I say, a little breathless. “Right here.”

“You were looking like you were about to pass out,” Wes shrugs.

I bring my attention back to Eden and Ari’s conversation. They are, of course, talking about Spencer. What else is new?

“I know what you mean, Eden,” Ari says. “You never forget the face of the person who saves you from drowning.”

Spencer shivers and runs a hand down his throat as if he’s distressed.

“It’s the same for me,” Eden says and she glances towards me. I think I briefly die and then come back to life.

“Is it ok to tell you something that might have to do with your… story?” Ari asks tentatively, and I almost jump across the table to tell her to stop talking, but Spencer brings his finger to his lips.

Eden nods, smiling. “I would actually like that,” she says.

Oh.I guess I am the one who should shut up then.Freaking Spencer, being always right.

“My mother did not want me,” Ari says, and my head snaps up. Shewhat? “She still doesn’t want me, I should say,” Ari smiles ruefully, and Spencer’s hand snakes up her elbow. He threads his fingers through hers as she keeps talking to Eden. “She doesn’t want anyone to know that her daughter is a stunt woman, or anything as unglamorous as all that.” Ari shrugs. “It hurts. And the only thing that hurt more was when I tried to pretend it didn’t.”

“It’s true,” Eden agrees. “People seem to expect you to get over it at some point. But what if you don’t?”

“What if you don’t?” Ari echoes. “As if such a thing is easy to get over. It’s not. The only remedy is the truth, and it took a lot of therapy for me to be able to say it: My mother did not want me.”

Eden’s eyes are alight. “Meanwhile, I think my so-called dad wanted me too much, one might say. It wasn’t much better, I assure you.”

“It was much worse, actually, from what I hear,” Ari tells her, watching her reaction.

They both chuckle softly, and I realize they understand each other in a way I will never be able to. I turn my face to the side and start talking softly with Spencer about nonsense, letting them talk in privacy.

They talk and talk as the moon rises in the sky. Theo, Ollie and a cute girl called Katia, who was introduced to me as Ari’s friend, take off for a walk along the beach. Theo is obviously admiring Katia—he has a weakness for unbearably beautiful women—but I think Ari would break both his legs if he tried to even flirt with her. I, on the other hand, am glad that Theo is taking an interest in life, for once, even though that interest is life-threatening. Absorbed in my thoughts, I don’t even notice that the clouds have covered the moon and it’s started drizzling. And then I hear the screams.

Spencer looks sharply towards the black water. There is almost nothing to see but waves cresting white towards the shore. He shakes his head, then laughs softly. I don’t.

In the light of the torches, I can just about make out three heads bobbing in the shallow water: Ari, Katia and Eden. Their clothes lie in a pile just out of the water’s reach, and the girls have jumped in the freezing ocean in the rain. I don’t think; I run.

I’m up to my waist in water when I reach Eden.

“Isaiah!” she squeals, her teeth chattering. She is wearing only her underwear, and Ari is right next to her, but I can’t quite catch my breath. And not just because the water is nearly freezing. “Did you want to come for a dip too?”

“I di—didn’t want you to be scared of the water,” I stutter. Saltwater sprays my lips, my hair. I grab her and steady her against me as a wave covers her head. She emerges laughing.

“You could have taken off your clothes first,” she tells me, spitting water.

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