Page 71 of Haunt Me

She rolls her eyes, as if she’s saying ‘please’. As if I am supposed to know. But I need her to say it. To give me something to hold on to when I eventually go under.

“I like you so much it scares me,” she says in a low voice. “I’m not… I’m not allowed to like things.”

“Things?”

“Yes, not even things. Much less…”

“An idiot like me.”

“A boy like you. You.”

I grab her wrist, my fingers circling her ice-cold skin and she flinches but she doesn’t pull away.

“I won’t lie to you,” I tell her. “I’m not taking it back. I love you. Just… stay. Stay anyway.”

“Then if you won’t lie, will you at least ask me to forget you said it?”

I smile. “No.”

“You are such an idiot, you know that?”

“Yep.”

“So, ask me to forget it, you idiot.”

“Nope.”

We just stand there, staring each other down. I’m on the brink of shattering; I’m barely keeping it together.

“Just stay,” I tell her, my voice breaking pathetically.

She doesn’t answer for the longest time. Then,

“Ok.”

I think I stop breathing as I look at her. The light, filtered through the tree branches, bathes her black hair in yellow stripes. It her white cheekbone, turning the skin peach.

I don’t touch her.

I start trembling again.

I want her so much it scares me. I have to stop myself from wanting her so much, or I will make myself crazy. But I think it’s too late.

My own, personal Eden.

My own, personal hell.

…

I won’t tell her I love her again.

I won’t tell her I love her again until years later. And it will be in front of a crowd of tens of thousands of people.

But I will never stop loving her.

Not for a second.

All this time, I will never stop loving her once.

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