Page 245 of Haunt Me

I stand and turn around and she is standing there, all curly red hair and freckles and not a black piece of clothing in sight. She’s wearing an oversized sweater, as she did then, but now it’s made of smooth cream wool. And she’s wearing a coat, a winter hat, a pair of jeans, and her orange boots. She’s looking away from me, up towards the sky. She looks like a fairytale.

No, wait, this can’t be right. There is absolutely no way she’s actually here. She is not real.

“Don’t give up now,” not-Eden repeats, squinting against the clouds. “It’s about to get good.”

“Is it you?” I murmur, the words barely audible.

“You said to meet you in the woods,” she replies in a matter-of-fact tone.

“I said—Wait, that was really you? In Paris? In my jacket? On Justin’s shoulders? The whole time? You…” I try to swallow down the overwhelming emotions, but I can’t. They start to feel like panic. “You were there for the whole word to see, I should have sent up security, I should…” My vision is going black.

“Hey, don’t be in pain,” Eden says, taking two steps until she’s standing right in front of me. “Please don’t be in pain.” Her voice trembles. “And please don’t get mad.”

A violent shiver runs down my whole body at the way she says ‘don’t be in pain’. If she says it a third time, I don’t know how I will remain standing.

“Do you want to bring me to my knees again?” I whisper. “Hold on, why would I get mad? What did you do?”

“I told James I was coming to your show. He was the only one who knew. He sent up a security detail for us, so that we would be safe in case I was seen. But I asked him not to tell you. I did…” She looks scared. I bite the inside of my jaw. “I’m sorry.”

I wave a hand. “Go on.”

“I did ask him to let me know if you would actually come to Massachusetts, because that ‘meet me in the woods’ thing you s-said,” her voice cracks again, “was extremely romantic, but it wasn’t very specific, you know? When something like that happens in movies, how do they actually find each other?”

“Apparently, they call my brother,” I say, my eyes on hers. I don’t even dare to blink in case she disappears. What she’s saying to me is not even computing.

She is here. She is here. She is here.

Raw joy steals my breath.

“I wasn’t sure where to find you, or if you would even actually come here, so James basically told me where you’d be. Sorry for taking all the poetry out of it, sorry f—”

I pull her to me with a hand on the back of her neck and cover her lips with mine. My legs fold and I sink to the ground. She sinks with me and I bury myself in her neck, trying to convince myself she is real. I sob quietly into her shoulder, and she kisses my head.

I lower us to the soft ground, thick with leaves, our bodies tangled up in each other. Her hands are frantically exploring my skin, and I can feel her hot breath on my cheek, her heart beating frantically.

I wrap my arms around her slipping a hand inside her sweater, hoping the skin-to skin contact will help calm us both down. I explore the bare skin of her back, her skin smooth and warm beneath my touch, and explore the lines of her shoulder blades, running the tips of my fingers over them as if they are piano keys, waiting for me to play the sweetest melody on them.

She melts onto me, and I catch her against me, covering my lips with hers.

Breathing for both of us.

“Are you ok?” I ask her again and again.

“Yes,” she always replies.

When I take off her coat. When I slip both hands under her skirt. When I unhook her bra. When the fire between us gets so hot, her breath hitches, and she can’t draw in enough air.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m perfect,” she replies.

“Yes, you are.”

She hides her head on my shoulder, laughing softly, and I explore her body tenderly, trying to learn as much of her as I can without shattering completely. Today is for exploring. Not for shattering.

Well, shattering a little.

My broken sighs are matched by hers, and I feel her curls on my lips, as she throws her head and gasps with the pleasure I give her. Sudden joy like I’ve never known floods me. No, not joy. Triumph. I made her moan like that. I made her fall apart.

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