Page 221 of Haunt Me

“Hey hey, baby, no, what are you talking about?” I bet she’s been thinking about this for hours. Probably during my entire flight. “Let me look at your face, Eden.” I search for her eyes, but she is hiding in my chest. “Nothing is more important than you. I need you in order to live.”

“You fainted on stage again,” she says against my ribcage and I sigh. “In Vienna.”

“I told you, this happens sometimes,” I tell her gently. “It’s nothing to be worried about, I have a team of doctors with me always. I’m taken care of, baby.”

“Fainting is not ok,” she says.

“It happenedbackstage,” I tell her. “I was dehydrated, it was no big deal. Did you read about it? Please don’t read this stuff, they are going to be saying so many inaccurate things, making everythingseem huge and so much worse…” I close my eyes. The last thing she needs right now is to worry about me. “Promise me you won’t read anything else.”

“I’m not reading them,” she says. “Lou told me. We’ve been texting a lot and she was worried about you.”

Freaking Louisa.Just wait until I get my hands on you.

“Let’s get you inside,” I tell Eden. “You’re freezing.”

“I used to be the one to sneak into your dorm room,” she says, her voice wistful and a little sad. I don’t like how she sounds. I wonder if it’s good for her, being back here. “Now you’re coming to mine.”

An echo of the giddiness she used to have in New York is back in her voice, and I breathe more easily.

“Have you had anything to eat?” I ask her. “I’m starving.”

“Will you stay the night with me?” That’s all she says.

“Yeah, yeah, I will.”

I couldn’t refuse her right now if my life depended on it. And it just might.

…

A few minutes later, I’m sitting in front of an empty plate, my stomach full. Eden is still struggling to get her piece of pizza down, and I frown at her when she can’t see me.

“Are you eating, sleeping?” I ask her.

“It’s not your job to worry about this,” she replies and I flinch.

“Yes, it is.”

I want to ask more.Are we talking enough? Am I what you need? Are you doing ok? Am I what you need? What can I do to help you?

What can I do to keep you?

Wait, did I think‘am I what you need?’twice? Ok, that’s weird. Maybe she has a point. Maybe I have been worrying a lot, but why shouldn’t I? There is a lot to worry about. And Eden doesn’t know it, but I did faint once more. And I had a few too many panic attacks. But I don’t care—it’s nothing compared to what she is going through.

“Don’t be in pain because of me, Zay,” she says, watching me.

“I’m not in pain, baby.”

“You are suffering. And I know I’m the reason.”

Ok, we are veering into dangerous ground now. I can’t let this continue. I get up and go crouch by her side.

“I am nothing but incandescently happy,” I tell her. “And you know you are the reason forthat.”

“You’re anxious about me.” It sounds like an accusation.

“Can’t a man have his small joys?” I try to joke, but she’s not laughing.

“This man can’t, not on my watch. Not for me.” She looks at me, sees me trying to laugh. “I’m serious, Isaiah.”

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