Page 216 of Haunt Me

“Talk to me about her,” she says.

“What her, baby?”

“That girl.”

I stop short in the middle of the street.

“Eden,” she says. “Talk to me about Eden. That Eden. I need to see me, back then, through your eyes. I need to get to know who I was then, while all this was going on. I need to know about her, keep the memory for the days when I don’t know who I am.”

I take a step closer to her, the world falling away from us.

“Ok,” I say, bracing myself.This is it. You’re up.Don’t screw this up.“Ok. I am going to ask you to do something as I’m talking. Can you do that for me, Eden?”

She nods, already smiling.

She issmiling. After what she just shared with me. This girl, I swear. She looks like an angel, but she is made of steel inside.

“Count them,” I say, bringing her to me, and closing my eyes over the top of her head. “Count with me, all right? One: she is the girl who saved my life. Two: she is the girl whose family missed her. She is the girl who rescued herself. She is the girl who taught herself how to love—even to love the unlovable, and that love will never die. She is the girl who just told me the most horrific story that has rocked the planet, but she said it calmly, with dry eyes, because she is stronger than her story.”

She is counting on her fingers.

I bring them to my lips and wet them with my tears.

“She is the girl who has a phone filled with texts she created alone, by herself. But that phone also has texts from a sad boy who adored the ground she walked on. It also has texts from her sisters who are admittedly a little scary, but they worship her. Texts from a queen, I imagine. Friends. Theo Vanderau, possibly, although he never texts anyone. But he’d text this girl. He’d do anything for her.”

She laughs brokenly.

“She is the girl who has songs written about her screamed by entire stadiums. She is the girl whose dad calls her ‘Paradise’.” I take her by the shoulders and put a breath of distance between us, just so I can look her in the eye while I tell her the last part: “She is the girl the biggest pop star on the planet loves.”

Her face breaks into a huge smile. She’s stopped counting, I think.

She was too busy listening to every word. Drinking it in.Wait, did I just call myself ‘the biggest pop star on the planet’? Biggest moron on the planet would be more accurate.

“Even though no one but her knows he’s an actual idiot,” I murmur.

“I love you too,” Eden says quickly, before I descend further into self-hatred, and I let my head fall back in utter surrender.‘Is this real?’I remember her asking. Now it’s me who’s asking it.Is this real?“I don’t know if I’ve said it before, and I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. You’ve said it so many times to me…”

I’m blinking back tears. They have frozen on my lashes, and my eyes sting.

“I love you,” Eden says. “I love you, Isaiah.”

I close my eyes, letting the words wash over me.

And then, as if she hasn’t shattered me completely, she adds:

“Zay.”

Eden’s Phone

*outgoing call*

Eden: Hi.

JamesP: Hi there. How are you, Eden?

Eden: I’m good. Do you have a minute? I don’t want to impose, I know you’re busy... Should I have texted instead of calling?

JamesP: I have all the time in the world for you. I love that you called me. What’s up?

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