Page 188 of Haunt Me

“I know, Eden. I know. But I know ugly too, remember? I have survived ugly. Don’t… Don’t talk to me about ugly as if I can’t handle it.”

“I just thought…”

“I can’t look at another girl when you exist in the world,” I tell her, my lips tight.

“I told you not to wait for me.”

“I know. I am not waiting for you.”

“Then why are you starving?”

“Because you are the only one that I want.”

Eden turns her head away, eyes damp with tears.

‘Her eyes luminous with sorrow’, my mind thinks. A new lyric.

No, stop it.

My stupid brain, writing stupid songs about her without my permission. I can’t seem to stop it. Just then, Pooh comes barreling out, his little body a blur, and jumps on my knees.Thank goodness.

“Who’s a good boy?” I bend down to murmur into his ear and he licks me all over. He’s so small, he must be freezing already, so I pick him up and walk into the house.

Walter and Faith look so happy to see me, their genuine smiles stretching from ear to ear. It’s two days until Christmas. I am the first to arrive—as I should be. With all of us here, the whole neighborhood is a security nightmare. A single photo of any one of us, a single pin posted on Instagram, and our location could end up in the tabloids within a split second. And then the vultures would descend.

But that’s not going to happen, because my security team has been in contact with Spencer’s team, as well as Theo’s team—which is more massive than either Wes’ or mine—and everything is taken care of. This place might as well be the Pentagon.

Everything is going to be ok as long as you don’t freak out.

But I’m already freaking out. I might need to hold on to Pooh, because it’s easier to breathe when he is panting quietly on my lap, tongue sticking out as he gapes at the Christmas lights. He must sense that every time he tries to move away from me, panic overwhelms me, because he rushes back to lick my face with enthusiasm.

I absentmindedly scratch his ears. I came here with no expectations, and at the same time with all of the expectations; I can’t help myself.

‘I told you not to wait for me.’Eden’s words slice me open like a knife.

My head is a little clearer now, and I can’t think of anything else but those words.

Breathe.

The bell rings and Eden squeals. I hear Ari’s voice greeting her, and Spencer’ deep baritone following close behind.They’re here.

“Is Zay in the house?” Wes shouts for my benefit—I texted him I was here an hour ago—and I plaster a fake smile on my face, standing up.

It’s starting. No expectations, my ass.

…

Manuela and her family come over a bit later, Justin carrying his overexcited son in his arms. Then Theo and Lou arrive within a couple of hours of each other. Pooh goes absolutely insane upon smelling Lou, and she, for once, showers him with affection. After she is done playing with him, he goes to curl against Eden’s stomach, and I see the relief in Eden’s eyes, as if she has missed him in the past five minutes.

If one good thing came out of Eden’s time on my tour, it’s that she and Pooh found each other. That little creature might be a menace, but he is the best medicine anyone could have ever prescribed her. Lou and I exchange a glance. I wink at her.Thank you.

Lou sticks out her tongue at me in reply.

I don’t expect us to make it out of the house, but somehow, we do. We spend most of the day outside, actually, and no one bothers us. We do all sorts of normal things, like skate in the ice rink. Eden can’t—her heart has been acting up. I keep her company as we watch the others, my own heart hammering in my chest, but I try not to show it.

We go shopping, or our version of it: sneaking around under hats and glasses, surrounded by security guards. But everyone has fun. We go out to dinner, we go to a club.

In the small hours of the morning, everyone returns to their hotel rooms, but I have been invited to stay at the Elliot house—and I am not turning that invitation down. After dropping a slightly but not completely—not under my watch—intoxicated Faith off at her house, Eden and I sneak in, only to find Walter reading by the fire.

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