Page 150 of Haunt Me

But we both know it’s a lie.

On the plane ride back to Europe, I add three more verses toHeartbreaker, a second bridge and a second ending. I add a new melody too. It’s so sad, it briefly feels like medicine. But once I land in Belgium, I think back on what I have written, wondering if it has actually made me feel better: it hasn’t.

On the ride to my hotel, it starts raining. My chest starts hurting; it’s getting hard to breathe all over again. Fully knowing that I reek of desperation, I whip out my phone and text her.

Tell me to come back. Tell me to stay.

What?Eden replies almost the next second.

I rest my head back and breathe in, slowly. She replied.

Tell me to leave the tour. To forget it exists. To just stay with you, while you heal. I won’t… I won’t even talk to you, you won’t even know I’m there.

I don’t think she will reply, but I’m too tired to regret writing what I did.

But then my phone lights up with a new text. Unbearable terror grips me. I sit up, sweating. I wish I could go back to three minutes ago and never text her. Because I know, even before looking, what her text will say.

A sob escapes me as I look down at the screen.

Goodbye, Isaiah.

The Elliot sisters chat room

Manuela: Eden, what happened?

Faith: Open the door, honey, we’re outside your room.

Manuela: Don’t call her honey.

Faith: Aw, don’t be jealous, I’ll call you honey too.

Manuela: I swear, Fee, if you don’t stop—

Eden: I did the same thing to him.

Faith: What thing, En?

Eden: I did the same thing to Isaiah that I had done 4 years ago. I ran away.

Eden: Actually, I sent him away this time.

Faith: It’s ok, En, you can call him and tell him to come back.

Manuela: Or just whistle and he’ll come running.

Faith: Manu! Be nice. Although it’s true, he will.

Eden: I just said ‘goodbye’ to him. I don’t want him to come back. I broke it off. Not that there was anything to break. I guess I mean I didn’t start anything with him again. I couldn’t.

Manuela: Are you sure?

Eden: It could never work. First of all, whenever I get stressed, I always run away. It’s my flight response. And it’s not his fault. Why should he have to deal with it?

Faith: Because he’s crazy about you?

Eden: Oh, he’ll get over it. He got over it before.

Manuela: Have you heard any of his songs, En? He never got over it.

---