Page 131 of Haunt Me

SMALLER

I felt myself growing smaller and smaller

Smaller than I was the day you stole me

Smaller than I was when you told me for the first time

That I was made of sin

Smaller than you made me feel every single day of every single year

Smaller than the minute I was born

I felt myself growing smaller

Smaller and smaller smaller and smaller

Until I didn’t exist.

I gathered my knees to my chest

Which was hollow

And I bent my forehead to the carpet

Which was bloodstained

Someone was screaming but I had made myself

Too small to hear

Someone was screaming but I had no idea

It was me

I folded into myself tighter and tighter

Tinier and tinier

But still I did not vanish

So I knew what I had to do:

I had to become smaller.

I felt myself growing smaller and smaller

Which was the next best thing

To not being there anymore

I felt myself growing further and further

From the mess on the floor

I knew it wasn’t good to feel this way

But this detachment was the only good thing I had felt