Page 86 of Seduced

“I am not worthy of them,” he said out loud.

“You are literally dying here,” Poppy said, and finally, Alexei understood why she was speaking so forcefully. It was the same reason he could not stop himself from screaming every five minutes since he had brought her here: She was scared out of her mind. “You are drowning in your own pain. Someone needs to help you. And you…you are not alone in the world. You have these people, your brothers, and you ignore them? How can you be so ungrateful?”

Alexei turned around to grab something to cover himself with, suddenly realizing how very naked his upper half was. Poppy’s eyes followed his every move and his fingers shook, fumbling with the fabric of his loose lawn shirt, suddenly self-conscious.

“You don’t understand,” he said, “they…”

“What? What could be so bad about them?”

Oh, she was curious about Peter and Valentine, was she? Well, he would tell her all about them.

“They are idiots, to start with,” he said and he thought he saw the ghost of a smile pass across her lovely face.

“They would have to be, to be your friends,” she retorted.

“Indeed,” he agreed. “I spoke to Peter a few months ago, he needed my help with something. Peter was always the craziest one of the bunch; he fancied himself the leader of our little group. I am alive because of him and him alone. When I was a child…I could not deal with things well. I couldn’t even speak.” Poppy looked at him, her heart in her eyes.Great, now she feels sorry for me.“I owe everything I am to him, mad bastard that he is. So, I couldn’t refuse, could I? He ended up dragging me all the way to Greece, so that we could risk our necks on the high seas; as if doing that in London all our lives was not enough for him. But he had this notion ofdefeating an evil overlord who bought children and sold them as slaves and soldiers in Turkey…”

Poppy inhaled sharply.

“Forgive me,” Alexei said quickly, “I’ll spare you the details. But Peter, he…He always wanted to save everybody, but this time it was he who showed up here and begged me for help. As if he had to beg. All he had to do was snap his fingers and I would be by his side. He said, ‘help me, for God’s sake.’ I helped him for his own sake.”

“Did you die in the process?” Poppy asked, which was a strange question, but it revealed how well she knew him already: he was wont to risk his neck for the silliest of reasons.

Peter’s mission to save Wendy and the children had not been silly at all, of course, but they had both risked their lives, nearly lost them too. And Poppy had guessed it at once. He did not think anyone would ever know him that well, apart from Peter, Valentine and Dante.

“Almost,” Hades replied. “But I survived. Just. So did Peter. And then, a mere few weeks ago, Valentine showed up here at the club. Valentine is my other friend. Brother, really. He…If Peter is mad, Valentine is demented. Always with the big dreams that one; he was an orphan, abandoned in the streets to die like an animal. He had this drive to make something of himself in the world.”

“And did he?”

Alexei nodded. “Yes. He became a pirate.”

Poppy laughed, then took one look at his face. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“Deadly,” Alexei said. “Then he met this girl. Zella. She…God, the things Valentine went through, I can’t begin to tell you. It turns my stomach just to think of it.”

Alexei stopped, closing his eyes. Disturbing images flashed in front of him and he could not bring himself to remember. But he had to. His friend had gone through it and he had so much more at stake.

“He was a wreck, Valentine was,” Alexei said, “until he met his Zella. Outwardly, he appeared to be the merriest, most insufferable man you would ever meet, but those of us who are close to him knew the pain that wrecked him inside. Then he met her, and he was absolutely shattered by the encounter.”

“I am going to guess that you rescued him too,” Poppy said, and Alexei winced.

“Hardly,” he replied. “I am not this person you are trying to make me into, Wyatt. I am someone who is so deeply disturbed that I need to feel pain in order to distract myself from all the horrible things I have done. To you, as well.” She shook her head, and he spoke quickly, before she had time to deny it. “Anyway, his girl is fragile. Her heart is weak due to…some things she suffered through the years. But he…You would imagine he would be broken, shattered. But he looks different, calm, happy, ever since he’s been with her. He is a different person.”

“Love does that, I hear,” Poppy said.

Alexei lost the ability to speak for a second. He nearly stumbled, even though he was standing still.

Break my heart, will you?

“Exactly,” he said instead, when he finally got his breath back. “I am so much better without a Zella, without a girl of my own, I mean.”

“But?”

He ducked his head, as if she had directed a bullet at him.

“But nothing,” he said out loud.

But deep down inside, I have a secret longing that cuts my breath off. A longing for something like what I saw in Valentine’s eyes, that completeness, that inner happiness, that elusive feeling of being alive, safe and happy. Just as simple as that, but none of us had it growing up.

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