Page 27 of Seduced

She could barely move, let alone think, but for the first time in her life, ever, things finally had become crystal clear. She now knew beyond any doubt what the truth was, and the truth was this:

She was a sinner.

She was about to be sent to eternal damnation, where she would be consumed by hellish flames for every single moment of eternity.

The only thing that might save her, was to obey her brother.

And obey she did.

She stayed quiet and obeyed. She stayed quiet, until she disappeared.

That was the only way she would be safe.

…

It was five days after her ‘night of sin’, and she had been allowed to have a glass of milk and two biscuits after her fast ended. But more than that, she was allowed back into her garden.

It had snowed lightly during the night, and her roses were covered with a thin layer of ice. They were so beautiful, she could cry. Except, since being starved, she hadn’t been able to shed a single tear, for some reason. But her throat hurt, her eyes stung and her heart was gripped by a tight fist, and so she knew that she was crying, even without tears.

She had been made to do her daily kneeling on the rice on the church’s floor for two hours as soon as she woke up, but the moment her two hours were done, she dragged her aching body back to the house. The cold, combined with the pain and the hunger, made it hard for her limbs to function, and so she didn’t even bother trying to dress herself—she had been denied all help from the servants anyway. Still in her nightgown, she wrapped a thick shawl around her throat and shoulders, and threw a thick woolen blanket around her like a cape, and half-hobbled, half-crawled the few steps to the garden.

Once there, she sat down on the half-frozen ground and ran her fingers around the frosty petals of her pink roses. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. There was no sun in the sky today, only thick, white clouds, filled with snow. But the cold on her skin felt like freedom after being cooped up in her room and in the chapel for so many days.

Without realizing it, she had started repeating the words her brother had drilled into her, inside her head:

Forgive me, for I am a sinner.

Forgive me, for I am a sinner.

Forgive me…

Suddenly, she heard hurried steps behind her.

She tensed, at once alert. What new torture was about to descend on her? She did not recognize these steps as her brother’s gait, his was more measured and hesitant, but she might have done something to infuriate him enough to come at her like that.

“What is it?” she turned around, but her movements were sluggish.

She wasn’t quick enough.

A hand came around her throat, grabbing her from behind, and another in front of her mouth, stopping her words, her breath.

Strong arms lifted her quite off her feet, and long, hard fingers pressed into her throat and mouth until her eyes bulged with the effort to breathe. She tried to fight, but it had been days since she had had any feeling in her legs and arms, and it was useless to even try.

And then, as she was being carried away from her lovely roses and green leaves, she remembered:

She was a sinner.

She shouldn’t resist.

Whatever happened to her, she should just obey.

It must be the will of God, or the will of her brother. They were the same thing, weren’t they? It must be some sort of punishment, and she knew she deserved it.

She stopped fighting and let the hands carry her away, barely attempting to breathe behind the beefy hand that was cutting off her air. If she suffocated, then so be it. She would not sin anymore. She would be obedient. She would submit.

Alexei

“Stop! Get your hands off her! Now!” Alexei shouted, disgusted.

---