Page 106 of Seduced

“You mean that?”

“I want to,” Poppy repeated. “But I…Give me time, please.”

“All the time in the world,” the hope in his eyes was heart-wrenching.

Time won’t help with what’s wrong with me.

I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.

“Don’t…don’t be too optimistic,” she told him.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to fix myself enough for this. For us.

He turned to the window and his shoulders shook with sobs.

“Do not be sad,” Poppy reached out to touch his elbow, then thought better of it.

A wet laugh was her response.

“Have you ever felt joy so great that it nearly takes your breath away?” Alexei gasped. “That it overpowers you so much that you…” His words were swallowed by another dry sob. His face was still turned away from her and all she could see was a waterfall of black hair.

Alexei tapped the ceiling and gave the order to the coachman to start for the club.

“Go,” he said to her, opening the door without turning to look at her. “Go, before I leap out of this carriage and murder the hell out of your brother.”

“Alexei…”

“Don’t you say my name like that.” His voice was a tortured rumble. “Not if you really mean it that you want space. I shall give you anything you want, space, time, take the whole damn universe. It’s yours anyway. But saying my name like that and asking me not to eradicate every single breath of space between us, is beyond the powers of a mere mortal like me.”

Poppy just sat there, stunned.

“Go, my dear,” Alexei said in a kinder tone. “I shall wait for you.”

He was crying again.

…

Wilder insisted on accompanying her back to the vicarage, even though it was a very short walk. Poppy refused him, knowing it would take her ages to walk on her aching legs, but he would not be deterred. He left her at the door with a bow, and a disgusted look towards the house where her brother awaited.

‘Before I leap out of this carriage and murder the hell out of your brother.’

Why was everyone so violently predisposed towards her brother today?

Why was…?

She was about to walk in, when the realization hit her. She nearly stumbled with the force of it.

Suddenly, everything made sense.

Suddenly, she knew why she was the way she was; she knew why the idea of marriage terrified her, why she was so broken, so destroyed. So changeable, so weak.

She knew everything.

She walked straight to her brother’s study, and did not wait for the servant to announce her.

“It’s you,” she told him, striding in without permission and standing in front of his desk. “You are why.”

“I beg your pardon?” His tone was absolutely forbidding, dripping with ice. She would have found it terrifying a few hours ago.

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