Page 47 of Now Comes the Dark

“Do you have any idea of what has happened?” Roman clenched his jaw.Is this guy for real?

“What happened? No…I’ve been working.” A defensive tone crept into his voice.

“The latest murder. Phil Logan, the manager of Julie’s. Even you can’t have missed it. It’s all over the news.”

“Oh, well, sure. Yes, of course. You knew him?”

Unbelievable. “You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

Roman inhaled and let it out slowly. “Yes, Mallon, I knew him. I was one of the people who found his body.”

Now he heard Mallon take a fast breath. “You…Shit. Are you all right? Did anything happen to you?”

“Of course I’m all right,” he said, suddenly impatient. “I’m alive, aren’t I? Phil isn’t so fortunate.”

“I had no idea. Of course, I read about the murder this morning, but the report didn’t give any details. They never mentioned you. I would have called much sooner if I’d known. I’m so sorry, Roman.”

“Whatever.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I could have helped you.”

Roman straightened, possessed by anger. “Oh, really? Call you in France? Is that where you were yesterday? Or were you having coffee down on the riverside?”

There was a long beat before he answered. “All right, I’m sorry. You’re right. I came back late on Saturday night. I…I should have called, but I needed time. I was working, too, overthe weekend. I couldn’t have seen you, but if I’d known what you’d been through, I would have been there for you.”

“Let me get this right… You got back on Saturday, but you didn’t call me until now. We’ll overlook the blatant lie you told me earlier. What changed between Saturday and now? I guess you weren’t horny then and only remembered to call me when you were lonely and needed a hole to fuck.”

“That’s not the way I think about you,” Mallon said in a rush.

“Isn’t it? It certainly feels that way. You’re only interested in me when you want to get off. I don’t sit around waiting for your booty calls, if that’s what you think. I have a life, friends, things to do. I wouldn’t have demanded to see you just because you were back, but a text at some point over the weekend would have been nice, instead of having to hear you were back from somebody else.”

“Roman, I’m sorry, I should have—”

“Just…just save your breath. I’m exhausted. You know that. This is one drama I can do without. I don’t know what you think of me, Mallon. Sometimes I think it’s just sex, and other times I feel there’s something stronger there.”

“There is. I promise there is.”

He sighed. “You’ve got a strange way of showing it.”

“Let me prove it to you now.”

“No,” he said firmly. “Not now. I don’t need you now. I don’t need you to fuck me to feel better. I need time on my own. I can do this for myself.”

“Roman, please. Don’t say it’s over.” There was a genuine note of alarm in Mallon’s voice.

“Mallon, I don’t know how it can be over when I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what I mean to you. I don’t know if we have anything in common beyond sex. I’ve got enough on my mind as it is to even think about it now, okay? Just…just leaveme alone, and I’ll figure things out when I can.” Hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “I need to go.”

Roman hung up before his voice gave away his emotion. Everything was so damn confusing. Could it get any worse?

He slid onto a chair, put his head and hands on the table and surrendered to the tears.

Chapter Eighteen

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

The following night, Roman did not work late. He’d had enough of the daily grind, slogging his guts out for a team of unappreciative middle-managers who cared more about targets and metrics than they did about people. He had told his section head about Phil, the trauma of discovering his body and the effect it had on him. She had nodded, uncomfortable and uncertain before telling him he could refer himself to the occupational health department if he wanted to talk about it.