Page 72 of Leave

“But this time…?”

“Right, so one day, I’m in Iraq, and we’re all sitting around bored. One of the guys starts telling the story because someone hadn’t heard it before. I’m just chuckling along, because I know how it goes. Kind of watching the other guy’s reaction, you know?” I snickered. “But then after he’s done, it turns out this gunny was listening in. And he tells us about the time he was telling the story, and a sergeant major walking by starts yelling at him like, ‘Are you motherfuckersstilltelling that stupid story? It’s been ten years. Why the fuck is everybody still talking about it?’”

My brothers’ eyes went huge, and so did Riley’s.

“No shit?” Riley asked. “So was he the drunk guy? Or the one who recognized the panties?”

Laughing, I shrugged. “He never said. But somebody else had worked for him before and said he’d gone through a nasty divorce and lost a rank at one point for beating the shit out of someone, sooo… My money’s on, he recognized the panties.”

Riley whistled. “Damn. Now I want to know who the other guy was.”

“Probably some pretty-boy officer who everyone thinks is God’s gift to the Marine Corps,” I muttered. “And no one would ever know he got drunk and banged someone else’s wife.”

“Yeah, that’s on-brand,” Riley said.

Andrew peered at both of us. “Is that a thing? Dirtbags making rank and—”

Riley and I both burst out laughing.

“Oh, my sweet summer child,” Riley said. “That’s the military in a nutshell.”

“Is it?” Matt said. “Like, for real?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seen the Top Gun movies? Both of them?”

My brothers nodded.

“Right,” Riley said. “So, you know how Val Kilmer’s character is a total bag-of-dicks lieutenant in the first movie? And then he’s an admiral in the sequel?” He nodded sharply. “That’s probably the most realistic portrayal of the military that Hollywood’s ever shown.”

Andrew and Matt looked to me for confirmation.

I nodded. “I haven’t seen the second movie, but yeah, Iceman making admiral? Definitely realistic.”

Matt laughed, shaking his head. “Damn. And here I thought the military was just a lot of running, drinking, being bored, and shooting at shit.”

“I mean…” Riley waved a hand. “It mostly is.”

“Pfft.” I nudged him with my shoulder. “You’re in the Navy. What the fuck do you know about ‘a lot of running’?”

“Hey! I run!”

“Do you, though? Do you really?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. Then he flipped me off. “Fuck you.”

I just laughed and elbowed him.

Andrew chuckled. “So much for the military teaching discipline and respect.”

“Hey! They teach us those!” I protested. “I just don’t give a shit.”

“Uh-huh. That sounds like you.” Andrew sipped his drink. “Oh hey, by the way—you coming to the bachelor party?” He slung an arm around Matt’s shoulders. “Seems like both his big brothers should be there to supervise.”

“What?” Matt shoved him away. “You’re going to keep me out of trouble at my bachelor party? Fuck off.”

“No!” Andrew scoffed. “We’re there to supervise and make sure you’re getting intoenoughtrouble. Jesus, dude.”

I laughed. “Okay, well, in that case—fuck yeah, sign me up.”

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