Page 3 of Leave

And as soon as we’d ended the call, I’d gone across the hall to the bathroom and promptly heaved my guts out.

There was no way I’d let my brother down. No way I’d say no to him on his big day. Ever since I’d enlisted, I found every excuse imaginable to avoid coming home more than I absolutely had to, but I wouldn’t be a selfish ass and say no to being Matt’s best man. I could grit my teeth through everything else that couldn’t be avoided, keep a smile in place so nobody suspected anything, stand beside him during his wedding, and then get the hell out of my hometown until the next time I couldn’t say no.

I’d calmed myself down and tried not to get worked up over it then. I had time to get used to the idea and make a plan to keep myself sane.

A week or so ago, his fiancée had posted on social media that Save the Date cards were going out, but that had only vaguely registered. Somehow the whole thing—the wedding, going home, all of it—had still felt abstract and about as far away as my retirement from the Marine Corps.

But now this envelope was here.

Without even opening it, I knew what was inside.

My stomach roiled like it had the night he’d asked me to be his best man, though I didn’t get sick this time. Ifeltsick, but so far so good.

There was a date now. I’d have to request leave. Make travel arrangements. Go home. Face…

My mouth watered in that telltale way, but I forced it back.

Closing my eyes, I petted Velcro, and he kept kneading and purring. It soothed me, even if it didn’t fix a damn thing, so I just stayed like that for a moment.

Nothing was going to go away, though. I couldn’t ignore this into silence. I mean, I could, but then I’d let my brother down at the worst possible time, and I just couldn’t do that to him. He and Sophia didn’t deserve to have their wedding day ruined because of past bullshit that couldn’t be changed.

I took a couple of deep breaths. Then, carefully supporting Velcro with my arm, I leaned over and picked up the envelope. With his rump tucked into my elbow, I thumbed open the flap, tugged out the cream-colored card, and read the scripty text.

Save the Date! Sophia & Matt are getting married on April 19th!

I exhaled. That gave me six months and some change. Plenty of time to request leave. Plenty of time to buy plane tickets. Plenty of time to…

No, it wasn’t nearly enough time to prepare myself for a visit home.

But I loved my brother and his fiancée, and this was their day.

What the hell else could I do but suck it up and go?

A shower didn’t do much to clear my head, but at this point, nothing would, so… whatever. In shorts and an old tank top, I shuffled out to the kitchen in search of food.

Riley was on the couch with Arrow in his lap, and he turned a concerned look on me. “Hey, you good?”

Far from it,I wanted to say, but I just grunted that I was fine. As I took a beer from the fridge, the floor creaked behind me. God, he was coming in here. He probably wanted to talk, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Hey.” He paused in the doorway, leaning on the frame. “Did you still want to order sushi?”

Sushi? Who the fuck said anything about sushi?

But then my own comment came back to me, and I realized I’d completely forgotten about it. “Oh. Uh.” I cleared my throat before taking a pull from the beer bottle. “Yeah, we can. Is that what you’re in the mood for?”

He shrugged with the shoulder that wasn’t pressed into the door frame. “I’m game for sushi or whatever. Do you want to get out of the house or eat here?”

Two conflicting desires clashed in my head. One, to hole up here and shut out the entire rest of the world except my cats and maybe my roommate. Two, to get the fuck out of here, go drive somewhere, maybe walk on a beach—do anything thatwasn’tholing up in the apartment.

Sighing, I leaned against the counter. “I… don’t even know.”

He tilted his head. “You sure you’re good? I don’t want to pry if it’s none of my business, but ever since you looked at your mail…” He trailed off, concern written all over his face.

I couldn’t explain the sudden shame or the heat in my cheeks. They just were. “Just some… family stuff.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That sounds heavy.”

“You could say that, yeah.” I petted Arrow, who had hopped up on the counter. “It’s—I’ll be fine. Um. Thanks for picking up the mail.”

---