Page 11 of Leave

“Shit,” I whispered. “That’s rough.”

He grunted in acknowledgment.

I ate a little of my ramen, then asked, “What exactly is their issue, anyway? Like is it a religious thing, or what?”

That prompted a bitter laugh. “Hell if I know.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm.” He sat up a little and absently poked at some noodles with his spoon. “I’ve never gotten a straight answer out of them about why my sexuality bothers them, or where it comes from. We always went to a fairly progressive church—they still do—and my dad’s gone there since he was a kid. So that’snot where they picked it up. I mean, shit, that church has had same-sex weddings. They’re not one ofthosechurches that turns parents into their queer kid’s worst enemy.”

“Wow. So they go to a church that accepts people like us, buttheycan’t?”

“Basically.” He managed to eat another bite of ramen, though it seemed to take some effort. “And like, they’re not outwardly hateful, you know? They’re not nasty and evil.”

“But they still don’t like it.”

“No, they do not.”

I studied him, wondering how much to tug at this thread. Maybe he needed to talk it out. Hell, maybe I needed to get a better bead on what I was walking into. “When you came out, how did you think they’d react?”

“Honestly?” He shrugged. “I thought they’d be chill about it. Like I didn’t think they’d be excited and throwing confetti because they had a gay son, but I figured they’d… you know… accept it.”

“And they didn’t.”

“Nope. But like, they didn’t yell at me or cuss me out or anything. They didn’t even seem mad. They just…” He pursed his lips. “The way they reacted, it was what I would’ve expected if I’d brought home a biker chick who was ten years older than me, told them I was getting married after two weeks, and showed them my new tattoo. More like, ‘son, are yousurethis what you want to do with your life? Have youreallythought this through?’”

“So, not the worst way they could’ve reacted, but still not what you were hoping for.”

“Pretty much. And I figured, okay, they’re not thrilled, but they’re not kicking me out, so that’s good.” He seemed lost in thought for a moment before he continued. “I also figured they’d get used to the idea, you know? Like eventually it would justbe, ‘oh, right, Riley’s gay.’” He laughed bitterly. “I’m so fucking stupid, though. I mean, last time I was in town, my mom told me one of her friends at church had a daughter who’d just come back from studying abroad, and we’d be a great match.”

I blinked. “She… seriously? Like, unironically?”

“Unironically.” Riley picked at his ramen some more. “I had to really gently explain to her for like the fiftieth time that I didn’t want to date a woman. I wasn’t gay because I hadn’t met the right woman—I was gay because I like men.”

“So they’re in denial over it.”

“Pretty much, yeah. And it’s fucking exhausting. I’ve been out since I was sixteen. That’s half my goddamned life.” He shook his head. “I’m just done, you know?”

“I don’t blame you.” I paused. “And that’s why I’m here. So they see you with a man and get it through their heads.”

“That’s the plan. Don’t know if it’ll work, but… that’s the plan.”

“Wow. What about the rest of your family? You have a brother, right?”

Riley nodded. “He’s cool with me. He won’t back me up against our folks, though. He doesn’t want to get in the middle of it.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered.

“I know, right?” He rolled his eyes. “We used to be a lot closer. This put a strain on things.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

“No kidding. As for the rest of the family, I couldn’t tell you how any of my grandparents felt about it,” Riley went on. “My parents ordered me not to come out to them when I was a teenager, and then they begged me not to when I threatened to as an adult.”

“Did they think your grandparents would react badly?”

“I couldn’t tell you. I thought so when I was a teenager, but more and more, I have to wonder if they were just embarrassed.” He paused, then shook his head. “I don’t know. By the time I was getting into my thirties and decided I could come out to whoever I wanted to, my only living grandparent was pretty deep into dementia.”

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