Page 107 of Leave

“Uh-huh. So good.”

“Perfect.” He kissed me once more, and he fucked into my hand just like I was doing into his. “We’ll work up to everything else. We’ve got all the damn time in the world.” He gasped as a shiver ran through him. “But this right now is so… fucking…good.”

I moaned softly, and somehow I managed to murmur, “It so is.” I tightened my grip, reveling in the choked sound he made and the way his rhythm faltered.

He whispered a few curses, and then his words came out almost like a sob, “Jesus, Nolan, everything you do is so…” He trailed off into another strangled, helpless sound, and some precum slicked my strokes, which only sent me higher.

“You close?” I rasped.

“Y-yeah.” He threw his head back. “Right there. I’m… God, yeah…”

Somewhere in the maelstrom that was my head, I was aware that I’d been embarrassed and an emotional mess just a few minutes ago. That didn’t feel important, though. Not when I was hauling Riley closer and closer to the edge, and not when every sound he made and every tremor that went through him took me higher and higher too. The things we couldn’t do now were irrelevant in the light of all the ways I could make him shake and cry out now, and I heard myself begging him to come as if I were begging for my own orgasm.

“Come, Riley,” I whispered. “I want your cum all over me. I want—”

His throaty cry swallowed anything else that tumbled off my tongue, and then his cum shot across my stomach and even onto my chest. My strokes were suddenly slick and hot, and he shuddered violently as he fucked hard into my fist a few more erratic times.

The man I loved came unraveled right there in my arms, and with a shout of mind-blowing release, I was there with him, coming and shaking and falling to pieces.

We were a mess. Cum everywhere. Both of us shaking. Both of us trying to catch our breath. My world was still fucked up, and God knew my head was too, but in that moment, I just didn’t care.

In Riley’s trembling arms, I felt incredible.

Chapter 27

Riley

A shower and a call to a local pizza place later, Nolan and I settled onto my bed to wait for our food to arrive. I’d thrown on a pair of sweats. He had on gym shorts. Still, lying together without shirts felt damn close to being naked; maybe because stripping off any clothes at all and holding each other was still so new for us. Like the novelty hadn’t even begun to wear off of knocking down those barriers.

There were still barriers, though. And tonight, when he’d tried to topple one, he’d run into it headlong again. I was relieved we’d salvaged things; he’d still seemed to enjoy what we’d done even if it wasn’t what he’d wanted at first.

As I rewound all of that, though, worry knotted in the pit of my stomach. In the moment, I’d only wanted to reassure him and promise him he still turned me on, that I wasn’t going anywhere, and that I was more than happy to keep helping him past his trauma.

But now I wondered if I’d said the wrong things.

I combed my fingers through his short, damp hair. “I, um… Just so we’re clear, when I was saying we’d keep working up to you topping me—I wasn’t trying to pressure you.”

“Huh?” He shifted onto his elbow and propped himself up so he could look in my eyes. “I didn’t feel pressured.”

Some of my uneasiness unwound, but not all of it. “I just… I was trying to make things hot, you know? But now I’m worried I was—”

“Riley.” He offered a tired smile as he took my hand. “We’re good. I didn’t feel any pressure.” He paused. “And it was pretty hot.”

“It was?”

“Well, yeah.” The smile turned to a soft grin. “Listening to you get all turned on thinking about bottoming for me?” He half-shrugged. “That’s hot.”

“Okay. It’s… That’s what I was going for. I…” Sighing, I shook my head. “I don’t know. I guess when I was rethinking it, I was afraid it sounded like I was putting pressure on you or something.” I squeezed his hand. “For the record, when I say I’m not going anywhere and we can take as much time as you need, I mean that.”

“I know.” He settled against me again and draped his arm over my stomach as he tucked his head beneath my chin. “You’re the first person I’ve ever been with whohasn’tmade me feel like we’re rushing or you’ve got one foot out the door.”

I closed my eyes, anger surging through me at how many people had mistreated him. Not just that psycho who’d assaulted him, but the boyfriends and hookups along the way who’d acted like his trauma was an inconvenience or a character flaw. Running my fingertips along his tattooed shoulder, I said, “I’m glad I haven’t. If I ever do, just say so. Because it’s the last thing I want.”

“I know. And… I’m pretty sure wewillget there.” He sighed, his breath gusting across my chest. “I want it. I just… I don’t know how to get past everything in my head.”

“It’s been there for a long time. It might take a long time to get past it, too.”

He seemed to think about that. “Probably. But I still don’t know how to get past it.” He paused. “Therapy’s an option, I guess. I don’t know if it’ll work, though.”

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