Page 91 of Leave

I nodded as I leaned against the dresser. I knew the type.

“I didn’t think anything of it,” he continued. “Like I never thought she’d actually do anything, you know? Like, physically?”

“But she did.”

Gaze distant, he nodded. Silence hung between us for a long moment. I wasn’t sure what to say, or if Nolan even wanted to keep this conversation going. All I could do now was wait for him to break the silence.

My heart sank deeper with each passing second. I knew him. He was going to close off, suggest we get out of this room and go… I don’t know. Eat? Drive around? Find some steeply-inclined trail to hike up until our legs lost feeling?

I wasn’t ready when he started talking.

“I was a wrestler in high school,” he said.

I tensed. “I… Yeah, you’ve mentioned that.” I chewed my lip, afraid of where this was going.

He stared at the floor, absently turning his phone between his long fingers as if he just needed something to occupy his hands. “The first time it happened was after a wrestling tournament.”

I held very, very still, afraid to even breathe, as if the slightest sound or movement might startle him back into his shell.

“I was exhausted,” he whispered. “I’d won my weight class, and it was great, you know? I was thrilled. But I’d also wrestled like eight different guys in two days. We had a big party afterward, and I was pumped over everything, but then…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Then it all caught up with me, I guess. I was suddenly so tired I could barely stand.” He rubbed the back of his neck before dropping his hand back into his lap, and he kept his gaze down. “I don’t really remember how it went down—she had her car there, and she offered to give me a ride home. She’d been dating my brother on and off since junior high, so I didn’t think anything of if.”

“And she took you home?” I asked softly.

“Eventually,” he whispered, his gaze turning distant. “I don’t even remember walking out to the car. I guess I passed out almost immediately. When I came around…” He swallowed like he had to seriously work at it, and his eyes flicked up to meet mine, full of more emotions than I could count. “She was on me.”

I blinked. “She… Do you think she roofied you?”

“Maybe?” The word came out thin and soundless. “I was always tired after tournaments, but never like that. I’ve… I was never even that tired during the worst stretches of boot camp or combat missions.”

“Holy shit,” I breathed.

“Yeah.” He laughed bitterly. “I kind of thought I dreamed it, you know? I woke up the next morning, and I felt really weird, but the night before—it just didn’t seem real. Like I’d hallucinated it.” He shifted his gaze to his hands again. “But the way she looked at me the next time I saw her—it didn’t feel right, you know? Like she was… I guess smug? I don’t know.”

I pushed out a breath. “Because she got away with it.”

“Probably,” he said shakily. “Couple of weeks later, she made this comment about deflowering two thirds of the Tyler brothers. And I thought, what the fuck? Did she cheat on Andrew with Matt? But then I remembered the ‘dream’ I had that night, and…”

“You were a virgin?”

Some color rose in his cheeks as he nodded, and he still didn’t look at me. “She kept making all these little comments, especially when no one else was around. And she suddenly decided she really, really liked calling me my wrestling nickname.” He sat back on his hands and stared up at the ceiling.

“Was she calling you that before—before she did what she did?”

“Sometimes. But after, there was like an edge to it that I couldn’t quite understand. Like she was making an inside jokethat I should get, but… I mean, that’s what everyone called me.” His shoulders sagged. “She’s the only one who still uses it, and only she and I know why.”

The echoes of her calling him that name at the strip club turned my stomach. It had annoyed me in the moment because Nolan clearly hadn’t liked it. Had I known that underlying meaning… Fucking hell.

“Before I enlisted,” Nolan said, shifting gears, “I had a wrestling scholarship alongside an academic one.” He swallowed. “Between the two, I was looking at a full ride.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Like I said, I was undefeated for two and a half seasons. Won state two years in a row, and I was favored to win it my senior year, too.” He swept his tongue across his lips. “Halfway through that last season, I dropped out. Told my coaches and my parents—everyone, that I’d hurt my back.” He finally met my gaze. “Truth was, I couldn’t stand being touched. And I definitely couldn’t handle being restrained or held down. No one had ever pinned me, no matter how hard they tried, but just thinking about someone getting me on my back suddenly freaked me out so damn bad.” He swiped at his eyes and paused to catch his breath. “I couldn’t do it anymore, and I couldn’t tell anyone why. They allstillthink I hurt my back.”

His parents’ comments about that made my neck prickle. They really had no clue. None at all. “Jesus.”

“Yeah. And the university said they still wanted me, but I dropped everything. Pulled my application, declined the scholarships, and enlisted in the Marine Corps. I had to get the hell out of here and away from everyone.”

“The university wouldn’t get you out of town?”

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