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“Well, given my recent track record, we’re probably safe even if we order from a ‘thirty minutes or less’ place. That still leaves us with a twenty-nine minute buffer.”

“Oh, come on.” I chuckled, sliding my hands down over his ass. “That was one time.”

“Mmm, true.” He tugged me flush against him by my waistband. “Might be a little awkward if the driver shows up while I’m still deep-throating you, though.”

I groaned just before he kissed me again.

Okay, fuck it. I was in the mood after all.

Lying in bed in our skivvies with a pizza box between us, I felt a hell of a lot better than I had before Riley had texted.

Still not great, though.

The pizza was damn good, and the sex was always amazing, but everything that had been bugging me earlier still needled at me.

And apparently I wasn’t being subtle about it, because Riley eyed me as he pulled another slice from the box. “You good tonight?”

“Yeah. Just…” I sighed. “We’re going to be there tomorrow. At my parents’ house, I mean.”

“Right?” He tilted his head. “That’s a… good thing, right?”

I wobbled my hand in the air. “I’m looking forward to seeing my parents. And my brothers. A lot of people, really. But…”

Riley’s lips pulled tight. “But there’s someone you’re not looking forward to seeing.”

“Yeah,” I said hollowly. “That’s an understatement. I keep…” Shame burned hot in my chest and in my face. “We’re almost there, and we’ve come all this way, but I still keep having second thoughts about going.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Do you?”

I nodded, staring at the half-finished slice I’d abandoned on my plate. “I want to be there for my brother. What kind of brother would I be if I bailed as his best man?”

I could feel Riley studying me, though I didn’t look up. He put his own pizza slice down and picked off a piece of pepperoni. “Your brother isn’t the problem, is he?”

“No. Which is also why I think it would be a dick move for me to bow out, but…” I exhaled. “Basically, there’s ninety-nine people there who I want to see, but one who’s making me want to turn around and go back to Oki.”

“And you said no one else knows?”

I shook my head as an old familiar knot twisted in the pit of my stomach, making the pizza even less appetizing. I finally made myself look at him. “You’re the only one I’ve ever told.” That wasn’t a hundred percent true, but I didn’t want to get intowhat had happened the handful of times Ihadopened up. “It’s, um… It’s not exactly something I like to advertise.”

“No, but I can’t imagine not havingsomekind of support. Just someone having your back even if that other person is still there.”

That took a moment to process. I’d been going this alone for so long, the idea of someone having my back was alien.

And, I realized with a sinking feeling, he’d probably change his tune if he ever heard the whole story. No one else had taken it well—why should he?

Part of me thought I should nut up and be honest. Let him decide what he wanted to do going forward with all the information instead of the wildly incomplete version he knew.

But I was a coward when it came to both facing my past and the prospect of Riley scoffing and backing away from me. Selfish and cowardly or not, I needed him for this visit. Afterward, I could tell him the truth. That wouldn’t be a fun experience, and it wouldn’t be fun watching him leave, but at least I wouldn’t be going into this visit and my brother’s wedding alone.

I finally said. “Well, it’ll be good to have someone in my corner this time.”

His expression was full of questions. He had to be insanely curious by now about what had actually happened, but he didn’t ask. And I realized I’d have to be very careful how I acted around people—what I said, what I did—because Riley was a cop. A military cop, sure; he didn’t have to deal with criminals day in and day out, but those thingsdidhappen on base sometimes. Hewastrained in interrogation techniques, body language, and sniffing out the things people didn’t want him to know.

Keeping these cards close to my vest was not going to be easy.

And deep down, I was terrified Riley would figure them all out anyway.

Chapter 15

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