Page 45 of Leave

“For the record,” he said, still smiling, “yes, your ass turned me on that much.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mmhmm. You’re fucking hot, Nolan.” He paused. “And it didn’t help that I haven’t topped anyone in ages, or that I’ve never done it without a rubber.” His cheeks reddened again. “Guess I wasn’t expecting it to be so…” He shivered.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.” He lifted his chin and kissed me softly. When he drew back, some concern had slipped into his expression. “I know we didn’t get far, but… did you enjoy it? I mean, I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” He grimaced. “Especially when I came—I was afraid I’d—”

“No, it was fine,” I said. “It, um… It felt really good, actually.”

“For as long as it lasted?” From the hint of a smirk on his lips, he meant it as a joke.

I chuckled and shrugged. “Hey, you said it, not me.”

He laughed, and so did I, and I didn’t think the novelty of laughing in bed would ever get old. There was nothing mean-spirited about it. He was making self-deprecating jokes, and I was following his lead, and it was actually fun. It was relaxing.

Jesus. Up until this trip, we’d never been naked in bed together. We hadn’t even kissed. Now we were naked, cuddling,making out… and laughing about our botched first attempt at anal.

I had never been in bed with anyone, not even Riley, without feeling at least a little bit on edge. No matter how much I trusted someone, my guard was still up. If I relaxed enough, they could take advantage. I’d vowed never to let that happen again.

But lying here with Riley, especially as our chuckling devolved into lazy kissing, I realized I wasn’t nearly as on edge with him. And now that I thought about it, that feeling had been fading for a while. No wonder it had been a no-brainer to take things farther with him. I’d been with hot men before, but no one had ever been this…

Safe.

That was it.

That was why I could be more reckless with him than anyone else—because he wassafe.

I held him closer to me and kissed him harder, and his soft moan made my spine tingle. How had we only graduated so recently to kissing and being naked together? It felt like we’d been doing this all along.

Weshould’vebeen doing this all along.

No. No, that was definitely not true. It probably frustrated the hell out of Riley that it had taken us this long to get this far, but that was better than going too far too fast. I just hoped what he was getting now was worth the wait.

“Jesus Christ,” I murmured, and he dipped his head to kiss my neck. I tilted my head back to expose more of my throat, and he explored every inch he could reach with his lips.

Rubbing his hip against my hard dick, he purred, “I meant what I said—I can get you off now, or wait until I recharge a little so I can fuck you again.” He paused to kiss beneath my jaw. “Or both.”

My toes curled. I was so damn turned on, I wanted him to make me come, but I also wanted him to top me again. Depending on how long it took him to recover, I might still be hypersensitive when he was ready to go again, and that could get… uncomfortable.

“I can wait.” I teased his nipple with my thumbnail, grinning when that made him gasp and shiver. “Don’t want to be too sensitive the second time around.”

He grinned against my throat, then came up to find my mouth, and from the way he kissed me, he wasn’t at all opposed to that idea.

What started out as languid kissing steadily intensified. His hands were all over me, and I reveled in how much I loved his touch. In how he could trace his fingers over anywhere on my naked body, and my senses lit up with arousal and hunger, not fight or flight. I loved how I could enjoy the little sounds he made—a soft whimper, a low growl—without reading each one for potential reasons to pull away.

More than I ever had, I could completely lose myself in someone, and I swear that turned me on more than anything else.

Let this man fuck me? Oh, hell yes.

I didn’t even care that he’d come too soon the first time. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I was glad he had. Not because it embarrassed him—I felt bad about that part—but because it gave me time to regroup and ask myself if I really did want to keep going. He hadn’t made it in very far, but it had been far enough to trip the“oh, wow, we’re really doing this”feeling that could’ve tipped into need for more or a panicked urge to hit the brakes.

Now we were in no hurry at all and there was absolutely no pressure coming from him—not that he’d pressured me, but I didn’t love the idea of getting a guy that turned on, letting himinside, and then telling him to back off. That hadn’t gone over well in the past, and even if he didn’t get mad, he wouldn’t be thrilled. It was embarrassing for me, irritating for him, and not a good time all around.

But as Riley and I made out and touched all over, that pressure was off. He wasn’t even hard yet.

And oh, hell, the more I touched and tasted him, the more I wanted his dick. He’d taken it slow and made sure I was ready for him. He was the right size for me to take him comfortably. He was gentle, considerate, and holy fuck, I wanted this man balls deep in meyesterday.

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