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“Have you tried to convince them to come smooth things over with me?”

Another sigh. “Riley, we—”

“No, it’s important,” I snapped. “I need to know: do you want this to actually be resolved? Or do you just want the tension to be gone because it makes you uncomfortable?”

“Does it make you comfortable?”

“No! I hate it!” I threw up my hand even though he couldn’t see the gesture. “I didn’t want this, Kevin. I don’t want it. But what I want even less is to continue gritting my teeth while they keep acting that way toward me. I’ve given them plenty of time. I’ve given them a million chances.” I exhaled, suddenly exhausted by this conversation. “I didn’t just cut them off because they won’t accept Nolan as my boyfriend. It’s because they won’t acceptmeasme. They’re always going to regard me the way they did when our old dog rolled in shit.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“We love you, but you can stay over there until you don’t stink anymore.”

He pushed out a heavy breath. “Come on. They still love you and they still show it. Just because they can’t get their heads around—”

“No.” I closed my eyes and set my jaw. “Just… no. If I can’t be myself around them—including bringing a partner home and having them treat him the same way they treat Laura—then they don’t loveallof me. They love me conditionally.” My throat ached, and I swallowed hard to push back the lump. “I don’t want this, okay? I don’t like it. But it’s the way it has to be until they change.”

“Soyouwon’t acceptthem,” he said as if it were some kind of gotcha.

I rolled my eyes. “Actually, I accept them exactly as they are, and because of that, I don’t want them in my life anymore. Who they are is toxic.” I half-shrugged for no one’s benefit but my own. “I know you don’t like when people are fighting or not talking, but I don’t like being treated this way. It’s worn me down so fucking much, and I just can’t handle it anymore.”

“But you’re not even home that much!” He huffed again. “You have to put up with it—what, once every year or two? If that?”

“I’m not going to be in Japan forever,” I gritted out. “And I’ll be retired in another six years. What then? And what happens if I get married?” Just saying the words made my heart drop. I hadn’t given marriage must serious thought because none of my relationships had gone that far, but the thought of wedding photos full of my parents’ fake smiles? Of what my dad might say during a toast? God, that made my stomach turn.

“So you’d rather just not have the family at your wedding?” Kevin asked. “You want them out of your life completely?”

I thought about it, as if I hadn’t already thought about it a million times, and my voice came out a little thick as I said,“Yeah. I would. I love Mom and Dad, but I can’t keep letting them treat me like this.”

“It’s not even that bad, though!” He sounded exasperated now. “Okay, yeah, it’s annoying—it annoys me too—but like I said, it isn’t like they kicked you out or sent you to conversion therapy.”

I shuddered, shifting on the hard hotel mattress. “That’s kind of a low bar, isn’t it?”

He tsked. “You know what I’m saying, though. They’ve been good to you. This one thing, yeah, they’re weird about. But other than that…”

I swallowed hard. “Well, maybe they—and you—should consider that it’s not such a minor thing for me. Instead of being pissed off that I’m going no-contact over something so petty, maybe stop and think about whether it’s that petty after all.”

The long exhalation on the other end wasn’t promising.

“I’m sorry if it means disturbing the peace for you,” I said. “But this is what I need so I can have some peace. I can’t have that while my parents are treating me that way.”

“I think you’re making a mistake.”

“Well, like I asked before—have you had this conversation with them?”

No answer.

“Talk to them,” I said. “And if they’re willing to budge, then I’m willing to talk. But that’s my one non-negotiable condition.”

“All of this sounds pretty fucking non-negotiable to me.”

And with that, he ended the call.

I put my phone on my chest and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. I was kind of surprised I didn’t break down and sob over my brother siding with my parents. Over this confirmation that I’d lost my family.

I was mostly relieved, though. Nothing about this situation hurt enough to negate the feeling that I’d stopped carrying acrippling weight after far too long. It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk to a therapist at some point, just to sort everything out in my head, but I mostly felt… not okay, but like my world was more firmly on its axis. As if the discord with my parents had had me completely off-balance for a decade and a half.

I’d probably do some real grieving at some point. And I probably would look into getting some therapy. But right now, I felt… settled. As if I’d turned a page that I’d needed to turn for a long, long time. It still hurt, and it would for a while, but there was a sense of calm that I’d never experienced before.

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