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Or maybe I was just a fucking coward.

But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter. Too much time had passed. Leann’s name was mud within our family, at least among those who believed me over her, but she’d never see the inside of a jail cell. She’d never even see the inside of a courtroom.

“I should’ve done something back then,” I told my boyfriend and parents. “What she did isn’t my fault. The fact that she got away with it?” I shook my head. “That’s on me.”

Riley took my hand. “Nolan. Look at me.”

Despite the shame roiling in the pit of my stomach, I did, and I found nothing but softness and love in his eyes.

“None of this is your fault,” he said. “She did this to you. She scared you into staying silent. And let’s be real—society hasn’t exactly had an open-door policy for male victims of sexual assault. Especially if the perpetrator is a woman. Not that we do a great job with women who are assaulted by men, but…” He squeezed my hand. “Look, the point is that the deck was always stacked against you,andyou were a kid. You did what you had to do to protect yourself. You didn’t fail at a damn thing, and nothing about this is your fault.”

My throat was tight by the time he finished, and all I could do was wrap my arms around him again. I was worried he was going to get tired of me holding on to him like this—I was probably getting too clingy—but he didn’t say a word. He just pulled me in and kissed my cheek.

“You found a good one, Nolan,” my dad said fondly. “I always worry about you being alone out there, but… obviously you’re not.”

I laughed softly as I let Riley go. “No, I’m definitely not.”

“Not with an apartment full of cats, you’re not,” Riley quipped, and I elbowed him playfully.

My mom smiled for the first time since Matt’s wedding. “I feel a lot better about you going back to Japan, knowing you’ll be with Riley.”

Riley blushed, which was seriously cute.

“I wish we could do something about the past,” she went on. “And I wish we could do more about Leann. But at least I know you have someone there with you who loves you.”

I wrapped an arm around Riley’s shoulders and kissed his cheek. “Yeah. I do.”

He met my gaze and smiled. Good God. I’d felt utterly flayed open the last few days, but my parents were still on my side, and Riley was still looking at me like I wasn’t a complete trainwreck. Maybe, with them and him in my corner, I could put all these pieces back together and finally move on with my life.

“Nolan,” Mom said. “Is this—is the situation why you avoided coming home all these years?”

I dropped my gaze and nodded. “Yeah. I felt guilty and ashamed, and I just… I didn’t want to be around her.” I swallowed hard. “Especially after that trip to the cabin. When I knew she’d still…”

“I’m sorry,” Dad said softly. “I wish we’d known.”

I nodded again. They’d already said as much, and I still didn’t quite know how to respond.

“She won’t be here anymore,” Mom said. “And you know we love you and support you. We want you to come home more. We miss you.”

Eyes stinging, I said, “I know. And… Iwantto come home more.”

Those words almost tore me apart more than everything I’d told the family about what Leann had done. I hated how long I’d been away. How much I’d missed. I wanted to see the people who still loved me. I wanted to make up for lost time.

“I will,” I croaked. “I promise.”

“We’d love to see you.” She paused. “Do you think you can come home for Christmas?”

She’d asked me every year since I’d enlisted, and for the first time, I wasn’t mentally scrambling for some reason why I couldn’t make the trip. It was hard to speak with this lump in my throat, but I managed. “I’ll put in the leave request as soon as I get home.”

She smiled, which almost made me start crying for real. Then she turned to Riley. “Of course you’re welcome here, too. I’m sure you have family you’ll want to spend it with, but any boyfriend of my son’s is always welcome.”

“I, uh… I actually don’t have anywhere to spend Christmas.” He slipped his hand into mine again. “But if he wants me to come…”

“Definitely,” I said without hesitation. “Please do.”

He smiled. “I’ll go wherever you go.”

The warmth from that simple comment chased away all the pain and regret. God, I loved this man.

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