Page 131 of Leave

Though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel him staring at me. The incredulity came off him in waves.

“Her bachelorette wasaftermy bachelor party,” he said quietly.

“I know.”

“So… that night. He didn’t actually know why you didn’t want the lap dance?”

“No. He clocked that I was uncomfortable, so he stepped in. But at the time—no, he didn’t know why.”

Matt whistled low, and I turned to him, brow furrowed. He must’ve seen the confusion in my eyes, because he said, “He’s good for you. That’s all.”

“He is. Honestly, I think he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

That brought a melancholy smile out of Matt. “Youthinkhe’s the best thing?” He playfully punched my arm. “Of course he is.”

“Yeah. He is. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through any of this without him.”

“I’m glad you have him.” He smirked. “Don’t be stupid and let him go, all right?”

I laughed softly. “I won’t. Believe me, I won’t.” I paused. “And… I’m sorry about tonight.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I wasn’t—the last thing I wanted to do was ruin your wedding.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

I turned to him, eyebrows up.

My brother huffed and rolled his eyes. “Youdidn’t ruinanything. I mean, I should’ve known something was up at the bachelor party. And the way she kept fucking up during the rehearsal—that was a big red flag. I’m… Fuck, man. Honestly, I’m amazed you made it this far without saying something.”

“What could I say?” I swallowed the acid trying to climb the back of my throat. “I thought about it—a lot—but… I mean, it’s like Riley said.Womenhave a hard enough time convincing people when men attack them. Look at me.” I gestured at myself. “Who’s really going to believe a woman assaulted me? Never mindmultipletimes?”

Matt grimaced. “Fuck. I don’t know. I…” He scratched the back of his head. “And she threatened you to keep you quiet.”

I swallowed bile. “She did.”

“Ugh, that’s disgusting. I’ve never really liked her, but I never thought she was capable of that.”

“I didn’t either until she actually did it,” I said softly. “Honestly, even after that. I kind of thought I dreamed it the first time because I was so out of it.”

Matt made a sound like he was about to retch. “I can’t believe she did it once. Multiple times? Good God…”

“I feel like I shouldn’t have let it happen the—”

“Don’tdo that to yourself, Nolan.” He looked right in my eyes. “Don’t. You didn’t let her do anything. She coerced you andblackmailed you and—” He scrunched up his face. “Christ, I can’t believe shedruggedyou.”

I stared at him in disbelief. Though I knew he believed me, it was still difficult to comprehend someone knowing what happened and being on my side. Not only believing that my account was true, but dismissing the idea that I should have handled it differently. Maybe he didn’t know what it was like to be cornered the way I had been, or terrified in the moment that she was going to accuse me of assaulting her, or—hell, any of the myriad awful things I’d thought and felt during those assaults. Maybe he didn’t understand on a visceral level, but as much as anyone could who hadn’t been through it… he got it.

As much as today had been ripping me apart, it was that realization more than anything else that had my eyes stinging and my composure cracking.

I tried to be slick about swiping at my eyes, but Matt was too observant to let me get away with it.

Without a word, he pulled me into a hug I didn’t know I needed. I squeezed my eyes shut and held on to him. An avalanche of conflicting emotions crashed through me as I tried and failed to keep the tears inside. I hated that everything had come out today, and that we were all going to be feeling the ramifications for a long time. At the same time, I was grateful beyond words that, by some miracle, my brother believed me and still loved me, even after I’d wrecked his wedding.

“I know you said it’s not my fault,” I said through my tears. “But I’m sorry. For letting this all out now.”

He held me impossibly tighter. “I’m sorry you thought you had to carry it alone for so damn long.”

My shoulders sagged. Hell, my whole body sagged. This had been one of the worst days of my life, and I was overcome with relief, guilt, and gratitude as my brother held me up. He of all people should’ve been furious with me. All this time, and I’dpicked the night before his wedding to air this dirty laundry—I hated me. I couldn’t believe he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, even though I knew he’d tell me not to be. I was, and I wanted him to know that.

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