Page 64 of His in the Dark

It seems you found your strength, no?

And I had said…

More like my anger.

I make another knot. Add another feather. The ladder grows as does my desire.

If I could go back and have that conversation again, I might use another word.

I might saymore like my passion.That is how it feels to me now. Like passion, which can seem like anger if it burns hot enough.

It certainly burned hot when we were moving together under the protection of the covers. So heated I could hardly keep my mind above the sensations. So hot that many times, I did not, and I let them overwhelm me. The feeling is addictive. I crave more of him. The feeling and his power.

Maybe that is a kind of strength as well. Maybe it does take courage to let pleasure claim a part of you, because once you have done so, you cannot forget it.

I will never be able to forget that moment. When there was a shift within me. When I felt such things that cannot be undone.

Concentrating on pleasure and strength nudges my thoughts into another realm. I make the decision to speak only moments before I do.

“I have a friend I miss,” I tell Silvie. “I wish to send her a message.”

Silvie frowns down at her witch’s ladder. “I cannot aid you with that.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” I say lightly. “You have helped me with so much. Surely you can help me with a message.” I don’t look her in the eyes. Not yet. I am careful as I speak to her with this request.

Silvie laughs, her cheeks turning pink. “I know only what I know. Sending messages to places other than this one is not within my power. I am confined to the realm, my queen.”

I had not considered her magic is confined to the realm. What I know of the Underworld was only stories because whispers are not known to be true. Communications are limited between Hades and Zeus alone. Hekate knows. But she is silent in most ways. A light dims within me as I think of my motherand of Beatrice. Perhaps I can persuade Hades. He seems to enjoy pleasing me. The dull flame brightens at the thought.

“I see. We should find out what lies within my power.” I tie the last knot on my witch’s ladder and stand up, Silvie’s eyes following me. “You have told me many stories, but I do not think I have done my part. I haven’t practiced enough or tested beyond simple spells.”

“You have, my queen,” Silvie says quickly. “You have done the work of years in a short time. You may see them as simple but a single flame can turn an entire kingdom to ash.”

“In my mind, but not so much with magic.”

“What do you call those bells on the door, then?”

“Alittlepractice.” I smile at her, and she smiles back. “Those are evidence that Iamtrying, but you have guided me again and again to the fire. Let’s imagine we are there for the first time.”

Silvie looks skeptical, but joins me at the grate across the room. It’s then that the door creaks gathering our attention. Cerberus enters the room. Such a regal pup with his three heads, all eyes on me. He trots towards me and I pat his heads to greet him before he takes a preferred spot in the corner of the room.

I watch him as he makes his circles and lies down.

“Well then,” Sylvie says with a huff. “You have gained more power than you know.”

“What do you mean?” I ask her before she returns her attention back to the grate.

“He does not allow anyone beyond Hades to touch him.”

I search her eyes to see if such things are true and find sincerity there. “I did not know.”

She nods, something changing in her eyes before she says, “Back to our task at hand?”

Nodding, I take in a steadying breath.

The flames are low, and do not give off much heat. “This is the fire, my queen,” she says slowly. “Magic can be worked here,as fire consumes, and its work is shown in flames. These are flames.” She points, and I laugh. Silvie’s mouth twitches, but she keeps her expression serious. “The way to approach magic such as this is by concentrating on the flames and the work they must do. How high do you see them, how hot can you feel them, what colors dance within them? You must see it in all ways. You must know it to be your vision. I will put them out for you.”

Silvie waves her hand, and the flames burn out. Envy burns within me at her power. She controls the fire so easily.

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