Page 51 of His in the Dark

“Again,” I tell my queen.

For once, she does not disobey me. She rests against me, her lips parted and her clenched hands desperate for aid in keeping her upright. Her head falls back, and she loses herself to my touch.

PERSEPHONE

Hades must know what he has done to me.

It’s not only him, of course. It’s Silvie, who walked into my rooms unafraid of my status. She looked me in the eye and told me that I had not realized the freedom I had here.

Silvie’s words rang in my ears after she left, the ideas taking root like a precious seedling.

It grew surprisingly fast for the Underworld, almost as if my mind had been craving those words, and by the time Hades came back to his rooms the first night after I met Silvie, I felt anew. The crackling behind the obsidian didn’t startle me, it felt like it belonged, like the power that rippled through me.

I’ve spent too much time worrying about the state of my magic and trying to keep the fear of losing my place among the Gods and Goddesses I had grown up with to let it go all at once.

It was apparent to Hades. His honesty is as brutal as the punishments he delivers so effortlessly.

And yet, he still wanted me.

His touch felt new and tantalizing—not as if I was being forced to bear it, but as if I had invited him in, and herelishedit. I will admit that I expected for him to lose more control thanhe did. I expected to be….ravished. Taken to the bed, at least. I wanted to know what it would feel like. I needed to experience what he has planned for me. And yet he only gave me a taste that sated a side of me that hungers for more even when limp and unable to cover my body when he was through with his tormenting.

Hades didn’t make a move for the bed until I could only draw breath to sayenough, please, enough.

And then he’d helped me to dress for bed, and pulled the blanket over me, and let me fall asleep in peace and warmth. A privilege I once took for granted.

This does not mean I’ve gained my freedom. I haven’t gained the ability to go as I please, away from the Underworld and return to Olympus. But Silvie was right. I have far more freedom than I thought.

More control as well.

For example, Hades leaves each morning and goes somewhere else. The chains do not keep me confined to his rooms. As long as I do not break and run, they allow me to go where I please.

At first, I follow the path we took before, it’s thoroughly lit and familiar as well. The hallway outside Hades’s rooms has a door out to the makings of what could be gardens but is crystals instead, and from there it is easy to find the cobblestoned path with the dark blooms growing thickly on either side. I do not know the mechanism by which the path works—all I know is that if I walk on it with the intention of travelling through the Underworld, I can pass by the Fields of Mourning and the Isle of Achilles and the other realms Hades took me to see before.

I find myself burning with curiosity about the other rooms—thedarkerrooms. But I do not visit those places. I tell myself it is because there are too many other things for me to consider,but the truth is that I do not want to visit those places without Hades at my side.

Fear keeps my feet planted on paths I know well. Even if those paths aren’t where I crave to be.

I know how that would seem, if I were telling this story to another person. It makes very little sense to think of him as a protective presence, and perhaps that is not the way I think of him at all.

Perhaps it is that the emotions and sensations that move through my body when I am watching those things—experiencingthose things from such a short distance—were overwhelming in the moment, and if I were to go back…

Well. It is not something I need to think about. I’m too busy making my way in the Underworld. Learning how it operates silently and on my own. There is little to no company for me. And the guards who line the halls are silent apart from the bow of their heads as I pass. The warmth and laughter of Olympus is lacking in the cold castle that I reside in now. I do wonder if it is always like this or if Hades has removed all witnesses for my stay here.

Or at least it was vacant the first few days but now as I set out to wonder, I’m aware there is more company than before.

The more I walk on the path, the clearer the realms alongside it become, and the same is true for the halls near Hades’s rooms. I could see the hallway outside the open door, but I did not know how many souls dwelled nearby. It is also possible that they had been told to stay away, and now they’ve been given other instructions.

And when they do…

They bow their heads.

There are more women like Silvie who tilt their heads when we pass each other as I am on my way in or out.

Silvie,I think one day, shortly after I have arrived back from a walk along the path. A few moments later, there are footsteps in the hall, and Silvie enters Hades’s rooms.

“Yes, my queen?” she asks. Is there a new light in her eyes? I cannot tell for certain but she seems to wear a semblance of peace I had not noticed before.

“I would like you to talk to me about magic,” I tell her, as calmly as I can manage. If Ihavethis level of freedom, then I will be able to learn from her. If I don’t, and it’s only an illusion, then it won’t matter either way.

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