Page 33 of Death's Deal

Chapter 18

For the next two hours, we talk about my son.

MY SON.

I never expected that to be the reason Toni betrayed me. That she had a choice between me or her son. I knew the mayor—that cocksucker—would find a way to oust me from Toni’s life. That was something he’d tried to do for the whole time we’d dated. I was made to feel inferior, unworthy, and a total piece of shit. Someone he didn’t want near his precious daughter. To find out I had created another of me, that would be almost too much for him to bear. The embarrassment of a kid from the wrong side of the tracks attached for life to his sweet daughter... that alone has my soul singing. That has me more than excited.

As I make her an omelet, toast, fried potatoes and peppers, she tells me all about Tristan. He loves to taunt Carlos, he is quick-witted, has a mean streak, and can toss a wicked ball. She mentions he hated almost every vegetable and she’d had to sneak them into his meals since he was a baby, and he is smart. Smart like her. He was in advanced classes. His birthday is July fourth, he was seven pounds, eight ounces when he was born and had broken his left arm four times while playing ball. It didn’t stop him.

“Did you tell him anything about me? I mean. I’m sure you said it was PJ, but I think you know what I mean.”

Between bites of toast, she smiles. “Yeah. Pretty much everything I ever told him was about you.” Setting her toast down, she adds, “How loyal you were to your friends and family. That you were protective. And how sweet you could be when you didn’t know I was watching. I knew you would do anything for anyone with just a simple ask. You were amazing. That’s what I told Tristan. That his father was someone he should be proud of.”

“I bet that isn’t the same story your family told him.”

“Actually. A part of the deal I struck was they never bad-mouthed you. I wouldn’t tell him about you, but that also meant they couldn’t say anything or I would call the DEA and recant everything. My father wouldn’t want me in jail for perjury, so... he agreed.”

Sopping up my soft poached egg yolks with the last of my toast, silently I smile inside. At least I know they didn’t say anything bad about me. After all, I had gone to jail for them, and I’d never crossed their doorstep until they’d asked me to.

“So. What was with the book that had you cursing me awake earlier?” she inquires.

Pulling me out of my musings about the kid with the sandy hair and electric-blue eyes like me, Toni reminds me I have another issue I need to contend with. The book I once thought belonged to the Queen, Claudine Cruz, I now know to be that of my mother. The OG Queen. More brutal, ruthless, vindictive.

“I get that your father gave you to me for safekeeping, but getting you involved with this is probably counterproductive.”

She sets her fork down. “I’m not asking you to tell me all of it, but I can be a good sounding board. If there’s something you need to talk about.”

“I don’t think it’s—”

“Look. I get it. You’re still not sure you should trust me. I betrayed you then, but I had a reason. A really big reason to do what I did, and I feel awful that it happened. But I’m here. I’m here to listen, Quinny. Let me help you with what’s worrying you.”

I think about letting her in on this. On my secret. My family’s secret. “It’s not as simple as saying it’s a worry, it’s more a ‘who killed Kennedy’ secret.” I can’t talk to J or Loc about it. Forget telling Curse or Boyd. No. Everyone thinks I’m Mayhem’s son, and that J and Apoc are my full-blood family. It’s crushing me to think they are not.

When the reality of that hits me, I pause. As I stand, slightly shaking from the truth of the situation, Toni jumps off the stool and comes to my side. Turning toward her, looking into those deep brown spheres, the scent of her, the thought of her, and the memory of what she was to me floods my senses. “This is bigger than either of us.”

Smiling sweetly, she strokes a hand down my face again. “Isn’t it always? Let me in. Let me help you.”

Being honest with myself and with her, I finally admit it, “I don’t know that I can do this alone, T.”

Setting a hand on mine, she states, “Then don’t. Let me help you. Whatever it is, we’ll do it together.”

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